I Was Put Here To Offend.

Feel free to Bleep Off!

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

My homeade shirt, and HNT

I made a shirt today. =) It's my Haunted Hotel T-shirt, I just wanted to try something with it. I got an idea one day and I have 3 of this particular shirt lol so why not? And it turned out pretty cute.

The basic idea was that I cut the whole thing in half, and tied it back together... I need to get some of the wax to coat the ends in so it doesn't ravel.. I could see it doing that quickly.. specially if stretched.. When i finally got it all done, the neck was kinda tight so I cut it down the middle and tied pieces of it back together too... hehe I'm happy with the end result. ;)

And then of course, since it's bout that time.... one for HNT!! Yay! Been forever since I got to participate... =) =) =) =) So HHNT Everyone!!!

Thursday, September 23, 2010

I'm scared he's going to disappear

I Lost my dad to suicide in 93. I've had 2 very close friends try.. and quite a few not so close friends try... but I have this feeling that one day soon I'm going to get a phone call that my best friend is no longer alive.

I know him better than he knows himself... better than most anyone knows him.. and some of the things he's been doing lately is like teetering on that edge ya know...

I don't think my mind could handle losing someone else.. specially someone that close to me.

I'm not sure how I even feel right now...

See I noticed these cuts on his arm today... and in asking he told me he also cut his chest some too... First time I've ever known him to do this.....

And oh it makes me so mad....

Idk anymore... i've always been able to help my friends in spots like this but I cant this time... makes me feel so helpless... and scared...

You cant force an adult to do anything.. specially if your not related to them.. if your a relative you have options to force help on someone... but this way all i can do is say it... and that does absolutly no good.

I've said everything I can think to say to make him realize that he makes things out to be much worse than they are.. loads of people are in way worse situations.... a little dedication could fix it.. BUT, i've also seen him when life was going good for him and he still has this inner depression that attacks him frequently....

Sigh... I cant help.... and I hate that feeling.... and if I wake up one morning to that phone call I'm not sure how I'd ever be able to handle it...

On another note, the haunted houses open tomorrow... Industrial Nightmare is on 8th and Ohio in Jeffersonville Indiana... admission is 18-27 dollars depending on the wings you'd like to go through.... and I'm the ticket seller girl so if you come you'll 100% see me. =) make sure and tell me hi. =)
And Haunted Hotel is at 4th and heywood in Louisville, right by the Downs. Admission is like 17 there I think... it's under 20. Which is a deal, most all the others around town are 20 at least per person....
They are both well worth the money you spend. =) So come see me and let the best houses in town scare the shit out of you this season. =)


Friday, September 17, 2010


I'm here once again to bitch.... lol I'm sorry. and not too many people stop by anymore I don't guess cuz I only get a couple comments here and there but it still makes me feel better just to write it down. ive said that a few times before huh? =)

So my dilema today... double standards... and fuck beating around the bush this time... Back before sean and I split up, some things happened between girl and him. Girl b is girl a's best friend for the record. girl c is also best friends with girls a and b.... I work with girl c. I've never actually exchanged anything unpleasant with any of these girls in person or by email or anything like that. We've never directly said anything negative to each other. In fact It's always been a pretty friendly environment everytime we're around each other. But, there's a mutual dislike that just radiates around us all.... minus girl c, she's kinda a bystander... lol In fact, I've always gotten along very well with girl c.

Now in one of my earlier posts I mentioned something about there being a large group of people who I never contacted when we got back from Fl, simply because Sean had contacted them and was frequently hanging around them.... and I didnt want to take any kind of friendships away from Sean that he had built because before he ws really lacking friends and even tho we werent together I was happy to see he had improved that.. So I never called any of them.. and I did assume that they wouldn't want to talk to me even if i did.. which I apparently was wrong about a few of them, but not these 2 lol.

And, god knows what all he told them about me either.... from what I've gathered, I've been fucking someone else for years now anyway.... I've done some really scandalous things for years and I'm just this terrible person... nothing could have been seans fault and all this was oviously true... Sean says he didn't say all this.. Seans been known to say it just cause it's the easier route to take at that moment too. My opinion is that possibly sean didn't start these rumors about me, but he didn't do anything to defend me from them either. I asked him today why he never defends me against things like this... and his response was to get on facebook and make his status say i love my wife stop picking on her.... it was cute yeah, but the point was that unless i specifically ask him to do it he doesnt take up for me when it counts.

so yeah whatever.. if thats what they were lead to believe than I can see maybe why they dislike me so... but it's not fucking true... so stop being dicks already.. hate me if you like to but stop running your god damned mouths... are you fucking 12?? get a fucking hobby... ugh..

But it's like I told him.. none of them fucks know me, or ever really knew me.. I didn't go around them very much. They may have seen me at a show here and there but that's about the extent of it.. Girl A came over a few times but that was more to stick my husbands cock in her mouth than visit with me.... So to even know what I was doing, or who I was fucking in my spare time isn't even possible... cuz why? cuz they didn't know me like that... but even still, when do i have a chance really to be fucking someone like that all the time? when I have my kid with me cuz I ALWAYS have my kid with me if I'm not at work.... yeah that's when I do it... or at work maybe? yeah then too, that'd have been so hot.. (um ew)

But anyway, today, girl B makes the statement that she doesn't want to hang out with Girl C lately because she might bring her new bff (talkin bout me) with her. This is the first comment from girl B but girl A has been making this comment for weeks now to girl c, and to girl b's boyfriend who also works with us... awe is ya nervous? lol why are you talking to her? your not supposed to like her cuz i dont like her.. blah blah.. whine boo hoo moo bitch. and of course girl c keeps telling me about all these comments she keeps getting from girl b and a and I've been blowing it off but for some reason today she told me about the new bff comment and it just did it for me... I'm so done with this dumb shit... I'm too old to play stupid kid games with two grown females... i'm not doing it.

I'm just curious why they keep going with all this stupid shit... I mean ok you don't like me.. I'm alright with that. I don't like you either.. so we'll just call that one even. Leave it at that. Don't speak to me, and i won't feel the need to speak to you... problem fucking solved. get over yourself already.

And I'm also really tired of all the stupid drama shit that goes around simply from knowing everyone around here...It's always something. if it's not something being said about you it's did you hear about so and so??? omg..... makes you wanna just leave.......but then I think about it and I can't just up and leave......... I don't think my fuck buddy would follow me.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

31 going on 90

I went to the doctor back in May because my wrist kept hurting and three of my fingers kept going numb and they told me I had carpal tunnel and gave me a brace to wear and told me to take b12.... well, I wore the brace awhile but it made it hurt worse so I stopped using it. Occasionally my wrist will hurt but nothing too major...

Well, the past couple weeks my hands, both of them, have been giving me hell.. In the mornings when i first wake up they are so stiff i can barely use them... like they feel puffy or something... like my fingers are too fat to make a fist if that makes sense..

at work the past month I've been painting pretty much everyday, and by about 4 everyday my hands hurt so bad I can barely stand it... and they claw up on me... like they'll keep the shape of how I was holding the roller or brush I was using and stay that way til I relax for a few enough to straighten them back out again.

I realize popping my knuckles is doing damage and I've been doing that since I was a kid but I'm only 31 fucking years old... surely I don't have old lady version arthritis....

Could this be anything else that any of you are aware of? I'ma go to the dr eventually but it's gonna be awhile because 1.. i have to work everyday and 2.... the clinic i go to takes like a month to get you in if it's not an emergency....
But it's really bothering me....
Any suggestions?

Wednesday, September 15, 2010


I don't think I ever write about anything happy.. lol and I don't really have anything to bitch about exactly but I'm not in the greatest mood today.

At work, I work with a group of like 10 people, we are all around the same age and we all work in the haunted houses every year. And every one of us is friends with half a million other people who work in the houses too... and this person doesn't like this person, and that person doesn't like this person.. and so on and so on and you get it I'm sure.... so all day long is full of "don't tell so and so I told you this"...and.. "guess what she said about you".. and shit like that... BUT, I'm a favorite for people to talk about. So I hear all kinds of shit all day long from every direction.. lol cause everyone that works with me likes me.....because if I like you and you get to know me, generally.. you DO like me... I'm pretty likeable i think.. but alot of people have this problem....

They either A. Want to fuck Sean, B.Want to fuck me, or C. Heard all kinds of bad shit about me while we were seperated and now they just don't like me cause they think I'm this horrible evil person who just totally did Sean wrong.. AND, some of them fall into two or all the categories. So theres all kinds of shit that goes around about me everyday.. and I learn more every day too..

It gets really old. When I first started back at Industrial, I was gonna just not talk to anyone and keep to myself but one person I really didn't expect to contact me did, and I wrote her back.. well I mentioned talking to her to the chic I work with and she told me to be careful of that person, that she couldn't be trusted.. and I responded with... No one i know can be trusted... and she looked all hurt and said.. I can...... So I decided.. fuck it.. what have i got to lose and have started talking to her quite a bit.. and I love her, I always have... but she was one who Sean ran to when we got back from Fl.. and it's not that she wouldn't talk to me, but I never felt like I could go to her.. Sean knew her a lot better than i did and the stories that (her) and others have told me that he had told people about me... it's no wonder they all hate me... but I assumed he'd done that and didn't call those people just because I didn't want to hear their opinions on the things they'd heard i did.... did you follow that lol

I know none of this makes much sense to anyone but me... but it felt better to write it down..

And my hubby kinda aggravated me today too... won't go into detail on that one but yeah for asecond there his attitude really got me.. he apologized later for his attitude but it still got me.. lol

Theres still a couple things i can't talk about anywhere... at all.... I can't tell this person because I don't want them to tell this person, and I cant tell this person because it involves that other person and it's not something they could pretend they didnt hear, and i cant tell this person because it just makes things look weird, and i cant tell this person because they wouldnt really care... lol and i cant write it here because theres only so much I want 2 certain people to know about me and sean.
I have like 3 other stories I wanna tell but I'ma lay down and try to get sleepy I think.. I've already been on here forever... lol

I might be back if I don't sleep. If not, Sweet Dreams all. xoxo

Monday, September 06, 2010

Ouija table

So I'm actually telling the truth this time.. I really do have a camera. =) I'll even put up a picture from today to prove it.. lol

I've been helping the decorator at the haunted house. I've basically just done what she needed my help with but one day she couldn't make it into work, and I was there all day so I got to do alot of the work in the new Zombie Stripper Room that Industrial Nightmare built in this year. Sean and his crew built it, like walls and floors and the stage and lighting and shit like that.. What us 2 chics do, well what she does is most all the painting, and adding any effects and decorations.. Like we've added a massive amount of greenery to the swamp, and the new castle room, we hung this huge piece of (horrible smelling) camo netting today, and painted, and figured out a way to hide the mechanics in one of the bigger props... things like that...

Well, the day she was gone I got to hang the main part of the curtains across the stage and bloody up some other props.. But yesterday our boss bought this like living room set. It's a table, and 3 chairs made from old whiskey barrels.. it's pretty hideous, but neat at the same time... so I got to take the table top and paint it to look like a ouija board. I think it turned out pretty cool. I was proud. it's nothing hard by any means, but it's something I'm getting paid to do that is actually kinda enjoyable too. And I'm good at it. hehe

But yep, got a camera, this Thursday.. it's on. lmao. =)

I was tired. lol


The walls are done with this.

The back of the stage, and the curtains

This is the chic I'm helping out.

Ouija Tabletop.

Like I said, it's not hard.. it's kinda tedious but not hard... but i actually enjoy it.. lol that's what's so great. =0) But I was proud of myself for actually creating something.

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