I Was Put Here To Offend.

Feel free to Bleep Off!

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Red River Gorge

Went camping over Memorial Day Weekend and it was awesome! =) I love love love camping. And this is our annual trip. Last year we went to Rough River because mom went with us and also because we took Mikayla that time as well.... so this year we had our hearts set on the Gorge. 4 other people went with us, but they all left Sunday so Sean and I got a night to ourselves..... Well we thought we'd have it to ourselves anyway.. haha The coyotes had other plans though. =) We ended up eye to eye with a whole pack of coyotes the entire night. They played on our campsite in plain view of us and howled and everything, we just built up the fire and sat around watching them though.... it was kinda neat really. I was going to snap a few pictures of them but I would of had to leave the safety of my fire and venture to my tent to get the camera.... and I wasn't too into being eaten so I passed on the pictures.

Sean and I took a hike Sunday by ourselves and found these caves that we could see from a look out point.. We'd seen them from the look out 4 or 5 times before and always wondered how to get to them, and we found em... we were so excited. Need a small amount of rappel equipment to safely get into them though, so that'll be an adventure for next time. =) But we found em at least.. hehe We also got our freak on in the hammock.. lol we kept trying to wander away from the rest of our crowd to go get a little freaky in the woods but everyone kept following us.. lol so once they all left, we desecrated the hammock.. haha

Anyway.... here's a few pics. =)

Me and My Luv on the rocks by the creek.
If you look real hard you'll see the 4 foot water mochassin, he's right in the middle of the pic. =)
The friggin HUGE spider that paid us avisit..... *shudder*
Part of the cave we found.
At the lookout
Josh and Deena
Me and Deena chillen under a rock shelter
If you read my blog frequently, then you'll remember a few years back when we went to the Gorge and almost died... it flooded and we camped through two tornadoes and ended up stuck having to wait on a helicopter to get us out. The yellow dot is where the water crested at that year. That's the roof to a barn that you're looking at btw.
Seans mom bought us this kick ass grill for Christmas.... this is us making breakfast on it. hehe
We tried to make eggs.... lmmfao.. they didn't work out very well.
View of the bridge from the hammock
Said hammock... hehe
The caves from the lookout we drive to. These are the caves we found finally.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

My poor kid

My kiddo fell yesterday. Hurt herself pretty good, scared the piss out of me. We were at the laundromat washing sleeping bags and I had just taken then out of the washer and had em all draped over me getting ready to carry them home and hang em to dry.... well graceful kid decided to take the stairs instead of go the way I went... and she tripped and fell. Fece first down 4 concrete stairs. I dropped what I was holding and ran and scooped her up (which was prolly the wrong thing to do but the mommy in me needed to hold her) anyway... she screamed of course and her whole face was covered in blood, so I just took off carrying her all the way to our apt. By the time we got up our 3 flights of stairs I too was covered in blood. I can only imagine what my neighbors thought about me carrying this bleeding screaming kid running through the parking lot.

Anyway, got her home and in the bathroom, calmed her down a little, put her hair back and proceeded to clean her face off with a cold rag. After I got all the blood off, I could see what happened. She has literally just peeled all the skin off the top of her nose, scraped the tip of her nose, busted the corner of her mouth, scraped her cheek by the corner of her mouth, scraped her forehead and has 3 scrapes on her left cheek along with a pretty hefty bruise running along her cheekbone. She literally looks like someone beat the hell out of her.

I cleaned it all off, I couldnt bring myself to peroxide it but I cleaned it with soapy water and put some neosporin on it all and a band-aid on her nose... and oh yeah her leg too, she scraped her knee as well. But I rented Happy Feet and got her to sit next to me on the couch for an hour or more holding an ice pack on her cheek cause it was swollen. She woke up prolly 10 times last night but this morning she loks a lot better. I was worried that it would swell overnight but it didn't at all. I gave her a little ibuprofen before bed to help keep down the swelling though. It's all scabbed today and the skin around the sores aren't red so I think I got them cleaned well. And it doesn't seem to hurt as bad today, she even let me take a q-tip and retreive a piece of cat hair off her nose earlier without any tears.

Scared the hell out of me though. I thought she'd broken her nose or cheekbone, but it all seems like it'll be alright.


Then Seans mom tells me today that she fell in the tub yesterday morning. Clumsy Durkins!

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

7 random things.

I've been actively trying to update my blog more often, but I failed to notice that Laina had tagged me. hehe So here's the meme that she tagged me for. =)

The Rules: Each player starts with 7 random facts/habits about themselves. People who are tagged should write their own 7 facts on their OWN blog, along with these rules, and tag their own 7 people. Don't forget to leave them a comment letting them know you tagged them!

1. I've been married to Sean since 2000 but haven't worn my wedding band or engagement ring since 2002. I just don't like jewelry. Only thing I wear is one toering... I bought it in the Florida Keys when Mark and Manda got married 4 years ago. I've never taken it off. But it's the only article of jewelry I ever wear.

2.I could probably eat my weigh in cucumbers. lol They are by far the yummiest food in the world. Everyone who's ever like had a birthday party or something of that nature around me knows this... and will generally hide them in the fridge covered till time to eat because I just can't seem to stay away from them. haha With salt though. =) mmmm.

3.There's only been a 2 week period of time my ENTIRE life that I didn't have a pet. Need clarification on that? lol Since the day I was born, I've always had at the very very least... one pet consistently. Usually I had like 3 or 4.. or up to 138 (yes, counting all the babies... I've had this many critters at once before). The only time I've ever just had one pet is when Sean and I moved back to Louisville from Arkansas.. we only had our cat Thumper then.... we had to have her put to sleep when she was 19, and we went like 2 weeks before we went and got Zoe.... then another week and we got Boots. So that 2 weeks between Thumper and Zoe is the only time in my life that I haven't had a pet.

4. My kid loves music just like her daddy and I. She will sing along with almost anything we put on, and she'll tell you if it's something she doesn't like, so she does form her own opinions about it too. But today we were at Kroger and she was humming something.. and I didn't pay it a whole lot of attention till it sounded familiar to me... so I listened closer... and it was False's Redemption... lol and none of you all know why this is funny I'm sure but False is a local REALLY heavy metal band here in Louisville. I mean... it's no wonder cause it's one of her daddy's favorites and it's usually in his cd player in his truck, but it's just funny to hear my 4 year old humming out double bass riffs like a pro.... I REALLY think that Mikayla has a genuine talent with music. Kid carry's a tune better than her daddy, and her daddy is pretty damned impressive. She blows me away sometimes.. =)

5. I burnt my thumb a month ago.. and now I have a scar. Was making a turkey casserole thingy, put the dish into the oven and the backside of my thumb touched the oven rack.... yea.. it was nice. lol and I babied it and everything but I got a scar.. *sigh* add it to the list I guess. =) I need a bubble. haha

6. I miss my mom more than I let on. and I know you all are thinking... pssh whatever. you're always talking about her... but that's just here.. this is where I come to do it. I don't do it to anyone in my life really. Me and Mik talk about her alot. But it's her asking me things. I did one day have to answer her about creamation.... that was interesting.. Maybe that's why I can't get past it though... but again.. I love that she comes to me with her questions and I'd be bitter if she started taking them elsewhere just to make me feel better.... does that make sense? I dunno though... It doesn't matter what I do or how much fun I'm having... shes always right there in my thoughts. *sigh* I've been here before though.. I know it gets better, I'm just glad I can tell it here. =)

7. Zoe has grown a new fondness of me. Zoe's my cat.. in case you didn't catch that previously... Boots is my other cat. Boots has been my baby since the day we got her... always wanting mom love.. in my lap purring or on my feet... but lately, it's Zoe that's always near me wanting love. Always in my lap if I'm sitting, and talking like crazy.. I walk past her now and she's all mew mew mew... lol I luv it. =) I'm such an animal freak aren't I? haha

So there ya have it. 7 random things about me. =)

I don't really get to read any blogs daily anymore so I'm not gonna tag anyone.. but if ya wanna do it leave me a comment and I'll come read it. =) And I'm sorry to everyone else.. lol I'm trying to blog more and read more often.. I do read them about every 3 or 4 days.. I don't get to comment alot but I'm reading. =)

crossing fingers

Well, Mothers Day came and went. It wasn't too bad for me. I did pretty good till we were all sitting outside on Seans moms deck and his sister came out and sat in his moms lap and hugged her.... Just like I used to do to my mom all the time.. so it kinda got to me and I had to go inside. But that was the only time I got sad. I think I did pretty well. =)

On to another thing though.. and I can't say much about this, because I'm not positive it's set in stone.. and I'm not positive I can share it just yet either.....

But I'll just say this..

Somethings about to happen. THis something will change our lives in every single way and I cant fucking wait! We've been talking about doing this for awhile now and we've finally figured out how to make it happen. SOON....

If it happenes, it'll be in the next few weeks I'm thinking so stay tuned.

Monday, May 14, 2007

In the Navy Now

Frogg Cutting Spyders hair =(
Me and Spyder.. lol he was a bit intoxicated!!
Fucking Metal Baby! See the autographs on the arm??? Yea.. there was lots of boobies (including mine hahaha) getting autographed that night as well!!!
This is what happens when we are left alone.. haha we start rearranging shit!
MachineGun SkullFuck
This is what Family is about! Unconditional Love..... I got sick of the conditional kind... these people are my world now!
Spyder and Frogg making ears bleed!
Spyder. =) (with hair)
Sean giving him a taste of military life.

Saturday night we had a show at The Dugout. It was MachineGun SkullFuck's last show with Spyder as their second vocalist. And it was one of the BEST show's we've had in my opinion. MGSF wasn't very satisfied with their performance but it was an emotional night for everyone. I think they did a fantastic job though. And it doesn't even need to be said that Once Fed Lies rocked the fucking house.... =)

We had a ceremony of sorts in th middle of the show. Spyder leaves today to join the Navy... so we cut his hair Saturday night.. and I can't lie.. I cried. My hubby was up in Spyders face screming like a drill sargeant and Spyder would salute and scream back and it was just really touching. Then we cut his hair... and funneled some spiked Kool-Aide. haha

He prolly won't read this but Spyder... I fucking love you... and I wish you nothing but the best in life... We fully support you in all your decisions and will be by you every step of the way! See ya in 6 weeks babe!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Be one of us

I'm worried about my grandma. Lately my cousin has been telling me about weird things she's been doing and saying. She keeps forgetting things that she'd normally know really well, and doing things like forgetting what day it is, and what year it is. But what really got me worried was yesterday. She went with me to pay my Insight bill and she figured she'd pay hers while we were there. Well, the lady checked her balance and told her how much she owed and Grandma got all worried looking and when I asked her what was wrong she said that her balance was wrong and it should be a lot more than that. So I asked the lady to check it again, and she did, with the same total. I couldn't figure out why she was questioning it if it was lower than expected cause if that were me, I'd just say ok and leave it alone.. lol but come to find out, Grandma kept thinking that we were at her bank and the lady was giving her the balance in her checking account. I tried to explain it to her that we were at Insight but she just couldn't catch on and understand. That worries me.

There have been people telling her lately that "she's losing her mind" and that's kind of a mean way to put it.. specially right to her but that's what I think to. I mean, I understand.. hell the shit she's had to deal with in her lifetime and all the meanness she has to put up with on a daily basis.. it's no wonder. It's surprising she's kept her mind until now.

This makes me miss mom too. Normally, she'd be the one I'd talk to about this.. but I can't. I called one of moms friends last night just cause I needed to talk to someone. I told Sean that when my dad died, I remember it getting easier the longer it was.. but with mom.. the longer she's gone, the more it hurts. I'm not sure what the difference between the 2 is. And it could be that all the great things that have been happening for us, I don't have her to share it with.. maybe that's whats bothering me. I'm not sure.

Mikayla thinks my mom controls the weather. hehe it's cute. I had told her one day when it was raining that maybe her mamaw thought the flowers needed more water... so yesterday we were outside playing and it was hotter than hell and she looked up to the clouds and said "mamaw... could you make it a little cooler out here?" it was too cute. I love how she's not afraid to "talk" to her still. =)


I was invited by the American Cancer Society to do the Relay For Life this year as well as the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer walk mom and I used to do every year. It's June 22 and 23, so if you're interested in either donating or joining my team, please email me at Seannrobyn@gmail.com and I'll send ya the info. =) Also for the Making Strides Walk this year.. I get to be on the Logistics team... yay! I've been doing this for 5 years now and knew that next year I'd get an actual job for being with them so long.. but they offered it to me a year early.. so I'm super super excited about that. =) I love being a part of anything like this. I have become an avid fundraiser! Brent would be proud. hehe =)


I know it's Thursday, so I've included a picture too. It's not half nekkid, but none of my recent ones really have been. I've kinda shyed away from HNT I guess. I've run out of ideas for one thing.. but theres quite a few people who read now that I don't want to share those pics with. lol Matter of fact, I've considered either moving my blog or just giving it up entirely lately. I don't think I could actually give it up because it's a good outlet for me, but here soon I do believe I''m going to move it. Too many assholes have stumbled across it and I'm tired of knowing their reading just to gather fuel against me. You know who you are. =)

This picture is me and Wayne. =) He's the owner of a club we do a lot of work at. He used to be a big time promoter in Nashville and has worked with bands like Alabama and lots of others. He's one of the coolest fucking people I've ever met!
Besides my daughter, this is my reason for living. =0) I have the best husband in the world.
We recently met someone who tried to tell us that they were the "second coming" and that we'd all one day be her followers.... so since then we've had this running joke amongst our crowd that we're going to "drink the poisioned kool-aide" together.. haha cause we're a cult... lol so Derby night Sean and I supplied the kool-aide and dixie cups and Wayne supplied the "poison" haha so we all drank the sacrificial kool-aide........... there's no turning back now. hahaha

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

You CAN choose your family.

Just for fun last night Sean and I were sitting around talking about our awesome friends. =) We were actually talking about family, and none of our family came up.
That's pretty bad huh? We decided that you really can choose your family.. I haven't been close to anyone in my family besides my mom and grandma for al ong time. Then when mom died, Grandma seemed to kinda back away from me as well a little.. so the only actual family I really know anymore is my own.. Sean and Mikayla. Not that I'm saying that's bad because those two people are my lifeline... they are my world and if they were the only two people I'll ever have, then I'm perfectly fine with that... But, when we were talking about all the awesome people in our life, we pin pointed these as being extra special to us. =)

I'm not gonna go through and give everyone titles or anything.. I'll just say that the people in this post are my new family... they don't need specific names... they are just family.. They mean more to me than they'll ever know.

First and Foremost.. theres Rob. Good ole Rob. hehe I luv my Rob. =) I make it a point to tell him everyday and it's really kind of a joke with us but I do really love my Rob. I know that we can count on Rob for anything and everything. He's the one who started Master Of Fright Productions with us too so he's not only one of our best friends, he's also our business partner. And he busts ass on it. =) I could go on and on about Rob on here, and I'm sure I'll talk more about him in upcoming posts cause he lives with us now so he's always around for our chaos. hehe. I can definitly forsee all of us years from now still on the same page we're on now with each other. He's one of those people that you can't imagine NOT being their friend. He's too sweet for his own good sometimes.. lol And he has great hair. hahahahaha

Donna. I've known Donna a little over a year now. In that year, we've learned most everything about her. She's been there for us, she's given us advice, she's even helped to calm me down at times. In one of our conversations, I learned that Donna and I were both raised by blind people and that those people that were so special to us... knew each other as well... We both have a lot of the same "beliefs" and interests and can talk for hours about nothing. I wouldn't trade Donna for anything... she's our Goth Mommy. =)

Hehe... and since we call her our Goth Mommy... we of course have to have our Goth Father too... Captain Insano, The Dude, haha we have so many names for Steve. He's a super great person as well. Him and Donna discovered each other about amonth or so ago and have been going strong since then and yes... say it with me.. it is the CUTEST thing I've ever ever seen. lol Steve is one of the best guitar players I've ever heard... he can rock the fuck out of a beat and he's entertaining to watch too. heh... I've taken all kinds of pictures of Steve and they all turn out awesome so it's really hard to pick just one.. lol Soooo... I'll pick two. Cause it's my blog... and I can. =) So there.

Now, talking about Steve brings me to Troy. Troy is the singer/ guitar and Steve is the guitarist for Once Fed Lies. Which, by the way, is one of THE best bands in Louisville. You need to come check them out sometime. Anyway......... lol

Troy is one of those people that you know you can count on for anything... literally. If you are upset, or pissed, or sad, or really happy.... he's always there to talk. He's also one of the most caring, giving people I've ever met... Sean and I have always been giving people, but we've never really met anyone that is truley like we are in that aspect until now. I have had some really great conversations with Troy about life, and why we're here, and where we're going and what else is out there with us... and just everything... he's very easy to talk to. I think that he doesn't give himself enough credit a lot of times too..... =) He's also a very talented musician and singer.

And of course... no Troy is complete without an Adrienne. =) Adrienne is Troy's fiance. I'm not real sure how long they've been togehter but they are so damned cute together. hehe Adrienne has a 2 year old little girl too.. but I won't post pics of someone kiddo without asking them first so you just gotta take my word that she's a cutie. hehe I haven't really gotten to spend a whole lot of time with Adrienne but the time I have spent with her has showed me that she's a great person as well. She's too damned much fun wether we're at the bar, front stage dancing.. or in the kitchen making hamburgers and trying to chase kids around at the same time.. haha I don't get along with too many females so I'm always stoked when I find a girly that is like me in many ways. =) Plus, she seems to keep Troy pretty happy too.. so that has to say something for her right? hehe Kind of a crappy picture of me.. but she looks good in it. lol

We've all decided that we are all apart of some sort of outside force... Theres something within us all that pulls us together and keep us that way. It's really exciting to finally find people that care, and cherish our friendships. I know that I can count on all these people no matter what the problem may be. Can't break our force field bitches.... I'll get the Kool-Aide man on yer ass... OH YEAH!

I'm not trying to exclude anyone either... so I have a few people that need an honorable mention. lol

One of the bands we help promote is called MachineGun SkullFuck.... yeah you read that right. lol I love all the guys in it.. but two of the members have really struck something in me. Frogg and Spyder. They are very boisterous, energetic, opinionated guys and they are fucking awesome. I have to admit I was worried about their attitudes at first but their outlook and ways they act are what have made me love them so. And everyone else loves them too. =) Spyder is off to join the Navy soon though, but I plan on writing him and Sean and I are going to try our best to go to his graduation too.... These guys are the shit....

Jeremy and Melissa are two people we've known for some time now too. Sean met Jeremy where he works and Melissa is Jeremy's girlfriend so that's how we met her. We don't get to hang out with them as often as we'd like cause they live across town from us but we still manage to make time for each other. =) I luv both these people though.. I've had many a conversation with them both about issues I'm having, or issues their having.. and I've just really grown to think the world of them. =)

Fender.... I could go on and on about Fender.... I luv him to pieces. He's been one of the main contributing factors to us getting where we are now... he's definitly the one who got Sean moving in the right direction. Fender is aiiradio god.. he's one of the main DJ's and hosts the Aiirtoberfest every year for the station. He's also one of the biggest pervs I've ever met.. lol But I luv it. For his birthday he asked for a pair of my panties.. lol and yes.. that's what the white thing in the picture is. =) But again, like many of the others I've listed... Fender is a great person to talk to. He's also a fucking blast when hes out at the clubs with us.... There is only one Fender. =)

And of course, as everyone knows.. theres Amanda.. she's been my best friend since we were both 8 years old. We have literally been through anything and everything you could imagine. I would never leave her out.. she's my sister and my best friend for life. =) The picture is of her and her Hubby Mark whom I've also known since i was 8.. she was just barely pregnant in this pic... she had the baby this past week though. hehe YAY!

So see... when mom first died I got kinda down thinking that I didn't really have anyone... but I've since realized that I have more than most people could ever dream about. So if you're on this post, then Thank you. At some point in my life you have touched me in an undescribable way.. hehe that sounds a little onri huh? But for real.. I wouldn't be where I am right now without every single person on this page so thanks guys for being who you are. =)

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