Be one of us

I'm worried about my grandma. Lately my cousin has been telling me about weird things she's been doing and saying. She keeps forgetting things that she'd normally know really well, and doing things like forgetting what day it is, and what year it is. But what really got me worried was yesterday. She went with me to pay my Insight bill and she figured she'd pay hers while we were there. Well, the lady checked her balance and told her how much she owed and Grandma got all worried looking and when I asked her what was wrong she said that her balance was wrong and it should be a lot more than that. So I asked the lady to check it again, and she did, with the same total. I couldn't figure out why she was questioning it if it was lower than expected cause if that were me, I'd just say ok and leave it alone.. lol but come to find out, Grandma kept thinking that we were at her bank and the lady was giving her the balance in her checking account. I tried to explain it to her that we were at Insight but she just couldn't catch on and understand. That worries me.

There have been people telling her lately that "she's losing her mind" and that's kind of a mean way to put it.. specially right to her but that's what I think to. I mean, I understand.. hell the shit she's had to deal with in her lifetime and all the meanness she has to put up with on a daily basis.. it's no wonder. It's surprising she's kept her mind until now.

This makes me miss mom too. Normally, she'd be the one I'd talk to about this.. but I can't. I called one of moms friends last night just cause I needed to talk to someone. I told Sean that when my dad died, I remember it getting easier the longer it was.. but with mom.. the longer she's gone, the more it hurts. I'm not sure what the difference between the 2 is. And it could be that all the great things that have been happening for us, I don't have her to share it with.. maybe that's whats bothering me. I'm not sure.

Mikayla thinks my mom controls the weather. hehe it's cute. I had told her one day when it was raining that maybe her mamaw thought the flowers needed more water... so yesterday we were outside playing and it was hotter than hell and she looked up to the clouds and said "mamaw... could you make it a little cooler out here?" it was too cute. I love how she's not afraid to "talk" to her still. =)

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I was invited by the American Cancer Society to do the Relay For Life this year as well as the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer walk mom and I used to do every year. It's June 22 and 23, so if you're interested in either donating or joining my team, please email me at Seannrobyn@gmail.com and I'll send ya the info. =) Also for the Making Strides Walk this year.. I get to be on the Logistics team... yay! I've been doing this for 5 years now and knew that next year I'd get an actual job for being with them so long.. but they offered it to me a year early.. so I'm super super excited about that. =) I love being a part of anything like this. I have become an avid fundraiser! Brent would be proud. hehe =)

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I know it's Thursday, so I've included a picture too. It's not half nekkid, but none of my recent ones really have been. I've kinda shyed away from HNT I guess. I've run out of ideas for one thing.. but theres quite a few people who read now that I don't want to share those pics with. lol Matter of fact, I've considered either moving my blog or just giving it up entirely lately. I don't think I could actually give it up because it's a good outlet for me, but here soon I do believe I''m going to move it. Too many assholes have stumbled across it and I'm tired of knowing their reading just to gather fuel against me. You know who you are. =)

This picture is me and Wayne. =) He's the owner of a club we do a lot of work at. He used to be a big time promoter in Nashville and has worked with bands like Alabama and lots of others. He's one of the coolest fucking people I've ever met!
Besides my daughter, this is my reason for living. =0) I have the best husband in the world.
We recently met someone who tried to tell us that they were the "second coming" and that we'd all one day be her followers.... so since then we've had this running joke amongst our crowd that we're going to "drink the poisioned kool-aide" together.. haha cause we're a cult... lol so Derby night Sean and I supplied the kool-aide and dixie cups and Wayne supplied the "poison" haha so we all drank the sacrificial kool-aide........... there's no turning back now. hahaha