I Was Put Here To Offend.

Feel free to Bleep Off!

Saturday, September 30, 2006

No more quarters

Yesterday I did laundry all damned day long.. lol So when I put in my final load of towels... and my final three quarters I might add I decided to go back home fix dinner and get Mik ready for bed while I waited on them to dry. Well, as Mik and I were getting ready to read our bedtime story together, she looked at me and said "Mom, we forgot the laundry" Ugh! So we had to get up, dressed again and head down to the laundromat. Got down there, opened the dryer... still friggin wet..... grrrrrr...... Since I had no more quarters and Mik was getting ready to go to bed and I wouldn't have been able to leave to come get them later.. I just brought them home and hung them in the bathroom to finish drying... Lol... had to take apic... so this is apicture of what happens when Robyn runs out of quarters... hehe

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Look into my eyes hnt

Bored one night... took some pics.. this was the best one I came up with.. lol

Haven't had the best week really. Mom's getting worse..... don't feel the best either... just kinda blah! So no smiles here this week. Just my baby blues..... what am I thinking?

Happy HNT everyone....

Stole your idea.. Neener Neener!

Your Blogging Type is Artistic and Passionate

You see your blog as the ultimate personal expression - and work hard to make it great.
One moment you may be working on a new dramatic design for your blog...
And the next, you're passionately writing about your pet causes.
Your blog is very important - and you're careful about who you share it with.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Just shut up already!

One of my cousins is in town right now. She moved a few years ago out to Arizona, and she wanted to come in and spend some time with my mom, so she got in yesterday and will be here till Friday morning sometime.

Spent most the night hanging out with her, realized that I really kinda miss her. She's one of the few I can actually get along with in my family. I can't remember a time when she's called me names or questioned the way I live... and I really respect that. It seems anymore that someone always has to question the way we choose to do things. Currently, everyone is putting in their 2 cents about how I should handle telling Mikayla about my mom. Like it's anyones business but mine right? I even heard a rumor that a certain someone was planning to "have a talk" with Mik at the birthday party I managed to get out of going to. Yea... that would have went over well huh? Have a little talk with my 4 year old will ya? be the last talk you'd make with teeth for sure!

And yea you're thinking.. Why would you try to get out of going to a family gathering? Well, my grandma even didn't really want to go. What's that tell ya? She took her extra set of keys so that she could up and leave if she wanted to. My cuz Lee said something to her that morning that got her all upset and crying and she didn't want to listen to it all day or take the chance of everyone ganging up on her when I wasn't around... how sad is that? My grandma relys on me to keep people from being mean to her. She knows I won't stand for it. I luv my grandma sooo much. She's one of the best people in the world, and so many are missing out because of the way they treat her. Lee though.... she's a piece of work. She likes to feel I think like what she has to say matters... and it might if she'd learn how to not be such a bitch about it. But she's always so harsh with everything she says and so demanding that no one likes to be around her. That... and she's bitching about the same old thing everyone bitches about to Grandma... I mean.. obviously she isn't listening to it.. so what's the point in repeating it over and over again ya know?

We had another birthday party to go to Sunday so we didn't have to go to my Uncles. I really wanna see my Uncle Wendell cuz he might not have too much longer with us but I've already called him and set up a time for just me to go visit him.. so that'll be better anyway. =)

I had this whole post written out and decided to just draft it instead. But I explained everything that Mikayla knows about her mamaw... all the things I've told her and all the things I'm waiting to tell her... and I was going to post it so that all my readers knew what my plans were in that department... but then I decided... Why do I need to explain anything? She's my daughter. I didn't ask anyone to help me have her and I'm not asking anyone to help me raise her either. She knows what she needs to know, the rest can be said when the time is right. And the very next person who says anything to me about it will get that exact response.

I have this cousin who is very.. um.... big mouthed I guess is the word I'mlooking for. She keeps telling my Grandma that I'm just going about this all wrong and I should do it this way or whatever and it's starting to piss me off. This is the same cousin who has only recently started to actually be in her kids lives. Prior to this she was on drugs and god knows where... so yea she's mother of the year huh? Gonna take advice from that one... Umm no. I barely even ask my mom for parental advice.. I think I'm pretty damned good at this whole parenting thing. Mik's a very smart little girl. She knows things most 4 year olds don't..... and she knows enough about her mamaw right now. I REFUSE to tell her right now that mom is going to die, regardless of what everyone else is telling their children. I mean, yea sure.. I do things wrong sometimes but so does EVERYONE. If you don't do things wrong then you'll never learn anything, and I haven't caused any damage to Mik yet.. so I've gotta be doing something right. I just wish everyone would back the fuck up off me. I'm not going to listen to you... so save your breath. I do things my way... always have.. always will. Ask my closest friends, they'll tell ya. I have my own way to do things, but my heart is huge, and my intentions are all good so just let me be. Right Manda? =)

I'm done with that though... I get so sick of fighting with my family. I get so sick of everyone thinking that I can't handle things on my own. I've done just fine up until this point haven't I? And I'm not interested in everyones opinions. At all. I'm not being a smart ass either, I just don't know any other way of saying it.


So anyway, went Sunday to Bethany's birthday party.. had a blast. Her mom rented one of those bouncy things and the kids had too much fun. She invited all the kids from her preschool class so there were tons of kids for Mik to play with.

Saturday was Seanand my 6 year anniversary.... we both forgot... lmao! Shannon called to wish me a happy one and we were like oh yeah that is today.. hehe so we didn't do anything but have a nice dinner and.. um..... yea you can figure out the rest.. lol


Woke up yesterday feeling like I was gonna die. THANKS CHRISTINA!

I think I have a kidney stone... AGAIN! GAWD! I've had 15 of these fucking things.... don't you think that's enough? ugh......... So yesterday was spent doped up on pain pills and I'm sure today will be as well.... right now I'm ok... but give it time.... blah!

So anyway.... that's a short re-cap of what's been going on.... sounds fabulous doesn't it? lol


Saturday, September 23, 2006

Rainy Days

Went for a walk in the rain today. It's been rainging so hard the past 2 days that we've had floods everywhere. Half our expressways are totally shut down, and most the side roads in low lying areas have been closed since yesterday, and there's still another storm coming in later. They're saying maybe another 2 inches of rain to come still. So of course, had to go take some pics.. hehe
So this one is the paper boxes all knocked over from the rushing water earlier. It has since drained but it'll be back up and raging the next time it starts raining tonight.

This is a picture of the street we live on. Sean had to drive to the store earlier and this was when the water had started draining finally. It's still too deep for cars, but his truck made it through just fine. =)

This one was on Clifton. This road is a huge hill.. and the water was just coming down it like a creek.. lol So Seanand Mik put their feet in the way of the stream just to show how strong it was.
This is the water rushing down the sidewalk.

Mik and Dad Splashing in Puddles. =)

This is just a drain over by the Nursing Home.... but I thought it was pretty. hehe =)

Oh yeah.... Today is Sean and my 6th Wedding Anniversary too. =) I forgot lol... My cousin called melast night to wish me a Happy Anniversary and I was like... oh yeah.... hehe I'm terrible. So we just played int he rain with Mik today and had us a nice dinner. I enjoy time with my whole family just as much as I enjoy time with just my hunny... and his "real" present will come late after a certain someone goes to bed....... c'mon kiddo... go to sleep... hehe=)

Thursday, September 21, 2006


K, I forgot it's Thursday till just now. =) So I just went through and picked a picture to post real quick.. lol
Found the little cartoon yesterday and thought it was cute... and so true.. =)
have a good one everyone!

Tuesday, September 19, 2006


I've come to an understanding. (I think) (we'll see I guess) And I think that in order to overcome something then you have to understand this fully.

When you fall and hurt your leg, you could just hole up, ignore it and go to sleep. Do that for like 5 or 6 days and you'll wake up and you're leg will feel better. Because that's something that time heals.

Losing someone isn't one of those things that I think time heals. I know a lot of people say that but it's not really true. I think it can help AIDE in the process because you become familiar again sooner or later with things that person used to be with you or wahtever. Nope.. I think that you making yourself actually deal with it is the only way to overcome greif. I'm not saying it should be a speedy process or anything but in my mind... I remember when my dad died. It really hurt me, and I rebelled and made it known that I was sad, but... I was 14 years old.. That's how most 14 year olds act anyway.. lol so adding something tragic to the scene and gaawd. I'm not saying that I didn't do a good job of getting myself over that either, because I think that all in all I caused no real damage and have adapted quite nicely. I still miss my daddy very much, even more so since my princess came along but I'm not "sad" about it anymore. Been 13 years since that. I just know now that you can't run from things like this. I think I'm more prepared now to keep my mind right when the time comes. I can do it. =)

I know that when I lose mom, it's really gonna hurt. And it's gonna take me backa notch or two, but it's not going to be permanent. I have a wonderful life. I have a great husband, and I have the best kid anyone could ask for. We are a happy, family and I love my life. My mom, however is a big part of my life. I talk to and see her every day, usually more than once. Anytime something interesting comes along, she's the first one I call to tell. I'm going to miss those things. Mikayla loves to go over there just ot hang out and eat moms bologna.. hehe Mik luvs being with her mamaw very much and asks about her every single day. I'm not sure how she's going to react to not having her around anymore. I'm not sure how strong I'm going to be able to be should my daughter need me to be strong ya know? I'm REALLY not sure how my grandma is going to take all this. REALLY not sure. She doesn't get the support she needs all the time now, if she all of a sudden starts getting it she's going to feel like a charity case and reject it. That's just how she is. Except from me.. hehe But on that same note.. grandma cries almost everytime she sees me as it is now. I can only imagine how she's going to be after moms gone. And again... am I going to be able othandle that myself?

I am always the rock. Everyone depends on me. I luv this about me, but it's a downfall in this situation because I don't really think I'm going to be able to be grandmas rock like I am now. I'm going to need my own damned rock.
lol And then again, I'll hate it if I can't help her out. Ugh........

Anyway... what brought this on your asking?

Took mom to the doctor today. She thought she had a kidney infection cuz it was hurting when she peed and she's not peeing much (tmi? sorry). Well (after sitting in the office for 3 HOURS) Doc says that (same doc that did liver surgery and found this cancer) pee is fine. Problem is that fluid is not going where it should be. It's going into her stomach instead. And her tumors "weep" and that causes fluid retention too. So she's gained about 40 pounds and half of it is fluid and the other half is where the tumors are growing. Her feet are horribly swollen. He said that all this is a sign of liver failure. She asked the question, as she always does, and he said maybe a month. A MONTH.

So this is starting to get pretty close now. Kinda freaking me out.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Da beach

K, So this picture is taken pretty close to the little walkway thingy you have to walk from the parking lot to the beach on. You can basically see how far out the water is from it right? Pretty far, the people are tiny.....
I talked about this in my super long post about our vacation earlier but I wanted to show off these other pics I took too. hehe... We kept wondering why the parking lots closed at 8, and Saturday night we wanted to walk along the beach at night, so we just parked in the neighborhood and walked onto the walkway thingy. Yea so right directly where it ended, the tide had come in all the way to it. And not to where you could walk in it either.. it was pretty deep and really rough. Like the waves were at least 3 times stronger, it was really strange to see. It was also like 11 at night and pretty damned dark. I took pics but you can only see *so* much ya know?

The blue you can see in the one above is the end of the walkway. Pretty huh?

Friday, September 15, 2006

I created a Slide Show! Check it out!

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Before & After HNT!

K, so we took Billy Monday to get his first tattoo, and while we were there I had the guy that originally did mine to hook me up with a re-do cause mine had blurred so much. The before pics aren't all that great an example, but you can see what it looked like mainly. And Blogger being the bitch that she is wouldn't let me put the after pic last and the before pics first, it just had to assemble them as it's bitchy ass wanted... so the "After" pic is the first one, and the bottom 2 are both "Before" pics.

The guy was like... um, can I do whatever I want to this? lol it used to be a celtic star with a green ying-yang in the middle, but over the years it blurred into this star shaped black blur with a dot of green in the middle, and now it's a star with swirly pointy things and an actual green ying-yang in the middle, plus it's a little bigger in all 4 directions. Lol... Yay! I like it MUCH better now. =) And it cured my itch for a new tat..... been wanting one for awhile now. Bad thing is... Seans jealous now... hehe so he needs a new one.. It's an addiction I tell ya, and I luv it! =)

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Look..... it's Edgar!

Well, We're back! =) had too much damned fun. I'm gonna put up some pics but I'm trying to get a slideshow instead of doing them seperatly cuz I've got over 300 pics.. lol =) I might just opt to show the best ones but I took em.. they're all good.. hehe =) gettin deep huh? lmao!

So Lets see.... I'm only gonna point out the interesting stuff cuz I could talk for hours if not.
The ride down was great.. we left when I got off work Tuesday and Mik was asleep 20 miles into the trip and she slept the entire way.. well till the sun came up anyway but we were damned near there by then. We got into South Carolina before we could check into our hotel so we went to Seans Uncle Jims house till check in time. Sean and Mik wandered the neighborhood while me and Christina napped. The neighborhood Jim lives in is crawling with alligators so we got to see like 15 babies and one HUGE adult one. I got pics of both the little and the big un that I'll show later on. It was neat though to stand at the edge of a lagoon and watch all the aliigators play. Found a turtle that tried to attack Sean that day too. =)

Um, was going to go out to eat Wednesday night but the ATM ate Lindas card and of course they all flippped out and ruined the evening so we went our own way for dinner that night. She got her card back the next morning when the bank opened (just like we told her she would). Family Day was Thursday... very emotional day for everyone. It not only was the first time we all seen Billy in 4 months, but it was also the EGA (Eagle Globe and Anchor) ceremony and it was a tearjerker. For those non-marine savvy people out there... the EGA is what you've worked for. It's like getting your diploma. You're not a Marine until your D.I. hands you that little pin, and the feeling of getting it is undescribable I'd imagine. Something to be very very proud of. And we all were very proud of Billy. =) We got to wander around Parris Island all day that day (in the pouring rain no doubt) but the rain didn't keep us indoors at all.. We just grinned and beared it. =) Went shopping in the PX, got all kinds of "gear" lol. I love shopping there... everything on the island is tax free. It's really an experience to see that place. I'd say go see it if you've never but you have to know a Marine to get on it. =)

Mikayla couldn't stop telling Billy how much she missed him either. =) Friday was the Graduation, and it wasn't nearly as emotional as the EGA ceremony was but it was still nice. After that we got to gather our Billy and get the hell out of there. I tell ya though.... seeing all them Marines and recruits walking around and doing Pt and everything.... makes a girl drool for sure.. I don't give ashit what anyone says... there is absolutly nothing sexier than those uniforms... *sigh* I better quit with all that though... might have to go get a napkin.. hehe =) ahhhh. So after we got his stuff from the barracks, we were off. Beach here we come. =)

Mik's first reaction to the ocean was "WOW, thats a BIG swimming pool" It was too cute. And she LOVED the ocean. She got to play in the waves and swim for awhile and then we went walking n search of creatures. We found shells, and starfishes, and millions of crabs, and all kinds of birds, sand dollars and HUGE sand fleas, and sea blobs.. lol I think they were like sea slugs or something but they were just moving blobs of goo on the sand hehe. We found a couple squids and some urchins and these straw looking things... just all kinds of shit.. it was fun. Mik had too much fun.

Shannon was especially annoying this week though.. we were SO glad when they finally left, GOD she got on our nerves. I'm not real sure what her malfunction is.. she just has to bitch.. it's like if there's nothing to bitch about, she has to create something... ugh... thank GOD she stayed somewhere besides with us or she might not have made it back home in one piece. I'm so sick of her.

So Saturday night after a little drinkin and smokin... the 4 of us decided to go back to the beach to play in the nighttime.... Um,, yea that obviously doesn't happen in Hilton head. We figured out why the parking lots close at 8 real quick. During the day... you go down the walkway, then out onto the sand, then prolly 150 feet or more before you get to the water..... at night.... whole nother story. The water came up to the walkway.. it was insane.. I can't even describe it effectivly. I couldn't believe the tide came in THAT much.... it was literally 200 feet or so... it came right up the the end of the walkway and the waves were so strong that you couldn't walk in it or you'd be swept away... GREAT surfing though I'd imagine. the waves were really big and strong, we really didn't expect what we saw. I took some pics but it was pitch black outside so they don't do it the justice it deserved.

Let's see.... what else can I say about our trip? hmm....

I got a phone call while we were gone with WONDERFUL news... I'm not allowed to share it just yet but CONGRATS CONGRATS CONGRATS to that one person who knows who I'm talking about! all I can say is YAY! =)

Mom's doing pretty bad now. She's swelling even more and starting to get choked real easy... I'm not sure what's causing that but it's just one more thing to worry about. =(

I have these horrible bruises on both my arms from body surfing.. hehe is ok though... war wounds are great.. lol I took pics that I was going to use for HNT, but I got my tattoo on my back re-done yesterday and I'm gonna show it off instead I think. We took Billy for his first tat yesterday... he got USMC on his arm.. same style as Seans but Billy's is Green and Seans is Red. They are going back to get matching EGA's on there chest though when he gets home from MCT in a month or so. Christina also got her first tat yesterday. Her and Billy picked one they are going to get together like Sean and I did... matching tats.. hehe it's the new thing. =) Her's is on her lower back and its pimpin cool. I showed the guy who did the one on my back what it looked like and he agreed that it looked like crap so he re did it for me, made it a little bigger and added more color.. I LUV it.. but he told me that re do-ing a tattoo is way more painful than getting it done the original time so I had to sit through that torture.. lol it feels fine today though. =)

(in case you're wondering..... edgar is what we named the boil on shannons leg.. lol we're such assholes. but it was just nasty and she had no problem showing it off so we named it so we could talk about it around her without her knowing what we were talking about hehe)

I think that's about it for now.. I'm sure I'll think of more that I wanted to say after I save this.. lol but oh well... you get the just of our trip. =) So I'll close with Congrats Billy.. We're all so proud of you no matter what you chose for the rest of your life. Luv ya Little Bro! Ooo-Rah!

Thursday, September 07, 2006

So Fresh and So Clean HNT

So, I'm still out of town but my good buddy was kind enough to post this for me today. =) Thanks.
This one is out of a whole slew of pics Sean took the other day while I was taking a bath.. hehe I actually didn't realize he took this one but it turned out pretty good I think. =)
Hope everyones week is going great, and Happy HNT! I'll come visit and comment when I get back home.

Monday, September 04, 2006

Almost Tuesday!

Well, I've gotten us all packed and ready to roll. Just gotta get work tomorrow out of the way and we're South carolina bound. Yay!

Kinda worried now though... yesterday mom woke up and her ankles were very swollen.. Docs told her to just keep them propped up and hopefully it will go down.. well it hasn't. They are still very swollen, and the hospice nurses are coming tomorrow to check her kidney function. Hopefully this isn't the first sign of kidney failure. I honestly didn't think things would progress as fast as they have. It's beginning to look like my mommy won't make it to christmas or her birthday now. It's still so hard to believe that she's dieing right in front of me like this. It's not like with dad.. We had no warning of that. I was at a friend shouse and mom called real late in the morning to tellme he killed himself.. just point blank.. he's dead.... with her it's this is getting worse, and this is getting worse, and watch her suffer, and watchher fears.. then it'll happen... I hate watching.

I just hope nothing happens while I'm out of town. And that sucks too... to have things be so bad that I worry about the next week. That's just 7 days ya know... we were thinking December maybe... but now I'm questioning the next 7 days.... I hate this.

Hopefully it's a fluke thing.. too much water or something like that.... hopefully it clears up and she's fine till I ge thome.

I'm going to call her ten times a day. =)

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Talked to da Beeeeely

Was sitting around cleaning and whatnot today and the phone rings.. It's Billy. =) Can't even say how happy it made me and Sean (and Mik) to be able to talk to him for a few minutes. God we miss him. I'm so happy right now. Almost makes me wanna cry, I can only imagine how I'm gonna be when I actually get to see him. =) He told me all his "plans" for his girlfriend too,, hehe I can't friggin wait for that. She's gonna be so surprised.. even though she's sitting there reading this right now.. so this is for you Christina..... Neener Neener Neener... I know and you don't... Neener Neener Neener... Mwah. =)
C'mon Tuesday!

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Road trippin.

We're leaving in 3 days to go to South Carolina. Yay! I can't wait to see Billy, I've really missed him. I can't imagine how Chrsitina must feel. Billy had asked that we take care of her on her birthday for him so Shannon and I went Friday and got her some roses and a card that said "I love you, miss you and can't wait to see you" luv billy and took it to her school. =) She cried, it was great. hehe does that sound mean? lol He just wanted to make sure that she knew he was thinking of her, even if it was through us. =) Bought me a new shirt too. It's cute, I can't wait to wear it. It's got perty silver butterflies on it. Yep, I said Perty. =)

While we were out shopping, Mik was playing in the shoe section and tried on these heels. They were a size 5 in womens, which is really small but, pretty big for a 5 year old.. Um yeah, they really weren't *that* much too big on her.....
Crazy huh? She's gonna have big feets like her mommy. lol Poor kid. =)

Anyway, we won't be back till next Sunday late sometime so you all probably won't hear from me till sometime that following Monday. =) But I'll have tons of pics I'm sure by then. hehe I've arranged someone to post my HNT this week so I'll still do that one. =)

We're staying 3 nights around Parris Island for Family day and graduation and all that, then we're heading up to Mount Plesant to camp. =) We only get to camp ovvernight but it's still gonna be great! We were originally gonna go to Myrtle Beach but it's like an additional 4 hours from where we'll be so we picked a place closer by with ocean access still. Where we're going is like 2 hours away from it. So we'll have a 12 hour drive home.. lol But the drive is half the fun right? =)

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