I Was Put Here To Offend.

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Sunday, August 31, 2008

How I spent my Sunday.

Don't read if squeamish... lol

This really hasn't been the best week. lol

Went to bed last night with my side kinda hurtin... wasn't worried about it though, it happens a lot to me.

Wake up this morning and my side really hurts... so I'm thinking.. ok maybe I'm gonna start.. decided to take a hot bath, figured it'd help. It made it worse.... I could barely get out of the tub to pee.... and when I did it was mainly blood.... freaked me the fuck out. Hollered for Sean and told him I needed him to help me get dressed and take me to the hospital... not messin around with blood like that. Get half way down the street and realize that I didn't have my i.d. so we had to go back and get that. By this point I can't sit still.. I can't find a position to sit in that isn't just killing me. I knew it was a kidney stone... but the blood part had me freaked out...

Finally make it to the hospital and I'm crying and barely able to walk, shaking like crazy color gone and I have to sit in the waiting room for 45 minutes nad I feel like I'm dieing... lol I keep standing up and then sitting and laying and curling up in a ball.. just anything I could do to take just the smallest bit of pain away.. nothing worked... it was miserable.... then I felt like I had to pee again....

I made Sean wait at the door for me cause I couldn't walk that well. Went in to pee and ended up passing the stone.... and more blood....

Now generally when you pass it, it's like the pain just automatically goes away.... well it didn't happen this time... it still really hurt.. maybe even worse and I kept feeling this pressure feeling.. it was weird...I've gone to the er before for a stone and passed the stone while waiting to be seen, and because it stopped hurting magically, I didn't keep waiting, I just left. But this time, it didn't quit hurting so I stayed.

Finally get called and they take my blood and make me piss in a cup to make sure I'm not pregnant even though I told them I wasn't. They put me on a bed in the hallway... cause they could see the chairs just weren't working for me... and the entire waiting room was watching me cause I'm the only person in there crying and moaning and writhing around... lol They take me for a ct scan and then bring me back to the hallway where sean is waiting. We sit in this hallway for over an hour til Sean gets pissed and says something to them... so they come get me and take me to a room... I never did see a nurse, I never got a gown, no iv fluids.. no nothing. I'm not a nurse but even I know that someone with kidney issues needs to have a saline drip going.... like stat bitches. I ended up curling myself into the tightest possible ball I could get in, getting underneatht he covers totally and falling asleep. Wake up to the doctor and a very bored Sean (my poor hun) both talking to me. He pokes me a few times, hits my back and says I'll be back.... goes to read my ct scan I'm assuming and comes back in and says congratulations, you passed it. Then he tells me it'll continue to spasm and hurt for a few days and the blood should stop... it was just because this stone was pretty big. lucky me.

Then he says.... and I'm not kidding either, this was his exact words to me. "Would you like a shot or something?" I declined the shot and asked for a pill instead... so the nurse brings me ONE lortab 10 and my discharge papers, a cup of water and leaves the room.

That was it. And people wonder why I just find someone with pain pills take them at home and not go to the doctor with every stone I have....

I was almost mad about the situation... for one thing... they never ONCE asked for my I.D. When they checked me in, they showed me the computer screen and said is all this correct still? Social security number, bithdate, address, everything... just showed it to me to verify it.. never asked for my license... or seans.

Then the fact that I never seen a nurse, never got an iv, and never even got a gown... they gave me the ct with my jeans on...and all my body jewelry and whatever I had in my pockets. The nurses were kinda rude, except for one and I stopped on the way out and thanked her for being so helpful. And the nurse that brought me the lortab didn't watch me take it.. I could have given it to Sean for all she knew. She wasn't going to tell me what it was either.. she handed it to me and started out the room and i stopped her and asked her what it was. And not sending me home with at least like 10 pain pills... I couldn't believe that.... I am FAR from a pill head... I came in balling dieing from pain, pissed em a cup full of blood and had an xray show the tears the stone left in my kidneys and tell me it's going to continue to hurt for a few days til the spasms stop and not send me home with at least some like 1000 mg motrin or somethin.... I'm not looking for a buzz people..... I just don't want to feel like my insides are falling out of me anymore. I can find a buzz elsewhere.

Ugh.... I'm just disappointed in the way they treated me today.. I go to that hospital for a reason. I've been to most all of them here lol and that one has always had the best service.. didn't even compare to the others... until this week.. and I probably won't go back now.

I feel better now though.. the pain meds have kicked in. Long as it doesn't get bad again I think I'm alright....

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Perfect Storm

My boss called today "A Perfect Storm".

Started like normal... busy as shit. Normal lunch rush, out the frikkin door... lol Me, Bernie and Nick are working.. Nick on register, me in middle Bernie on slicer. Well, about noon Matt, our boss, comes out from the back puts on gloves and tells me to go in the back I have a phone call. Turns out Mikayla was sick... had thrown up twice at school and we needed to go pick her up. So I'm hanging up the phone and I hear, "Shit. Matt. I did it" and Bernie comes around the corner to the back where I'm at with blood just GUSHING down his arm. Seems that the slicer made his finger it's bitch.

So I turn on the water and get his hand under some cold water while I get some paper towels to put some pressure on it. Well, 9 million paper towels later we decide it's not going to stop and he needs to go to the E.R.... So Matt takes Bernie off to the hospital and I take Bernies car and drive home to tell Sean to go pick Mik up from school. Leaving Nick COMPLETLY alone with a line. Had no other choice tho. Took me maybe 10 minutes max and I come back to the store wash my hands get gloves and help Nick. Had to clean the slicer right in front of everyone (and strangely enough, no one seemed to mind that much)... We get those customers out and locked the door to assess the damage.

We get the front all stocked and clean and ready for business and go toward the back. Get to the back and theres blood everywhere.... lol I had to bleach all 3 sinks, the floor and the fridge doors.... it was wonderful. lol Took us maybe half an hour, then Nick and I enjoyed us a cig and re-opened the store.... lol I got off at 3 so I volunteered to go pick up Bernie from the hospital when he was done.... they didn't even stitch him... it like sheared off the tip of his thumb but it didn't even go as far down as the nail... it was just right at a pressure point so it bled like fucking crazy.

It was a hectic day though.... glad it's over... glad I got off at 3... lol I have to close for Bernie tomorrow tho and it was supposed to be my off day and I have a sick kid at home so it kinda sucks to have to come in.... but whatever right... thats life.

Bernie told me I impressed him, and my boss told me I did a good job cause I like took over when I seen he was bleeding... my boss said that we have our issues at work but when its needed we can't be beat as a team... and that felt good to hear. =)


On another note.... a good friend of mines daughter is very bad off right now. All our friends have been spreading bulletins on Myspace and whatever about her asking for well wishes and positive thoughts and usually I'm not one to pass all that on.... But in this case, what this girl did shouldn't have been recoverable from and she's (slowly) showing signs of recovery so maybe theres something to mass positiveness..... so heres the story... the short version.

My friend Staci has 3 daughters. 2 twin girls and a 17 year old. The 17 year old attempted suicide the other night with an entire bottle of Elevil, cocaine, and alcohol. I may have spelled that first name wrong but it's pronounced like that... It's an anti-psychotic from what I understand. Anyway, she has been un responsive for 6 days. They weaned her off life support and the ventilator but still not coherent at all. It's really sad but it seems like she may be getting better. So everyone send her positive thoughts. Like I said, it seems to be working.


And then to end it on a high note.. Seans brother Billy and his wife had their first baby this morning. =) Briley Joy. She was given her mama some troubles and getting way to big to not be out here with us instead so they took her by c-section today and she was 9lbs and 4 oz. =) Big girl. lol Mom and baby are both doing great though. I'm actually an Aunt now... It's official!

Cave Hill Pics

Me and my famous self pics... lol
I was trying to make the sun rest on her shoulders
children =(
Inside the Cave
Looking out from inside the cave
Abandoned building.. stuck my arm n the window for this pic
This one too... I didn't realize how long headstones were.
Vines on Brick
I just thought this one was neat
And they looked like aliens to me
The pond
The ducks lol
The reason it's called Cave Hill Cemetary

Known this guy since middle school.... hadn't seen him since then either... lol Yay Myspace!
Ty and Me at Cave Hill.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

I Just Don't Know

Went up to Cave Hill Cemetary today.... I had told my friend Amber I'd try and scout out where the Cave actually is there. Friend of mine met me there and we were standing there looking around like... If I was a cave... wher would I be? lol and we decided on a direction........ wrong one. And mind you this place is HUGE. like huge huge... you could get lost fo sho. lol Well we just wander around looking at trees and dates and whatnot..me taking pictures cause I do that. Been about an hour and I'm like.... wonder where the cars are... haha. Found high spot and seen the office signs... lol Theres this pond next to the office area and I'd never really seen much of it besides where I tried to release my duck once... so we went over to see all the ducks. And low and behold.... The Cave. lol Could have been playin around in it the whole time.. haha oh well, I wore flip flops so I couldn't get too far back in it anyway today but I know where it is now.. lol it's on.

I took some pics but I'm on a friends laptop right now so I can't upload em yet. I promise though I'll come post them. They are good ones.

I've had a really strange couple days though. I found out some really disturbing news yesterday... and I can't write it here because I know people that read this that woud read it and I can't be the one who spills this on this person... although if she fucks up anyones life in this process I AM goin to hurt her. I am so incredibly disappointed i can't even describe how I feel. I almost hate this person but just knowing what she could possibly do to other people with this.... my heart broke. I cried over this bitch last night. It killed me to know it happened. I can't even believe it. Years of pride... just FLUSHED. Idiots. I don't get it.

And then I found a friend of mine had a hand in it... and that was a whole nother problem for me... I resolved that part of it though... and in doing it it cause a problem with me and sean and he said something to hurt my felings... which h later appologized for and I resolved that too.... But then today I try and just kinda tell my "best" friend about it and he automatically stops me to tell me something that happene to him... so that hurt me... and fter I'm kinda feeling better I get a text from my other "best" friend telling me off basically.... so it's beena rough day.

I DID have a good time at the cemetary though... I'm glad I found the cave and I'm actually kinda thankful for a couple of my issues today. I got to have a couple pretty intense conversations and found out a lot of good things about myself. Like for instance, I was told this..... I am your friend because you are a remarkable person. You see the good in everyone, and you are the only person I know that I can fully trust with whatever. You should be proud of that. And I am. =)

But at the same time, I also realized that I can't actually go to two of the people I really thought I could. Well one of them showed me this already actually, but the other, I thought would care... and didn't. Makes me want to call my mom. Even if it ws a horribly boring none of her business she had no idea what I was talking about conversation, she'd still have it with me. AND listen. The whole time. Can't have everything I guess. I just wish I had that one person sometimes. That person who'd drop whatever just to listen to me tell them I had no idea what was wrong. I miss it. A lot of people will say they'll be that person, but then it comes down to it and they aren't.

So yeah, been an up and down kinda day. Not sure how I'm feelin right now.

Saturday, August 09, 2008

My Birthday Party

I said I'd post pictures but I had like 300 of them... so slideshow you got! =) And I had to pick only 50... lol that's all it would allow so you get a fraction of what I actually have... =) I put captions on most of them so you'll know who it is and what's going on. =)

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

a little birthday fun.... more to come.

Well my weekend was awesome. Sean arranged a surprise party for me at Deenas after I got off work Saturday night... He took me out to eat at Chili's cause I'd never been there and then we went over to Dee's. I was under the impression that it was just gonna be him and me and josh deena mark and manda that night but we pull up and Russ is there. Then slowly but surely all kinds of people start showing up.... hehe we beat them all there.

I loved it though. I kinda don't like holidays anymore cause all I can think of is I can't call my mom I can't call my mom....... and it brings me down.... specially not getting that Happy Birthday Phone call. But Sean cheered me up. =)

The party went great, I'll post pictures after I get off work today... I'ma have to do a slide show I guess cause I have over a huindred... lol Assholes threw me in the pool... haha and my friend Brent showed up... that was the best part. I haven't seen him in awhile and I miss him so much. He lives out of town so to make it to my late night party was so awesome of him. =)

Then Sunday, when it was my actual birthday I spent the day being lazy with my love and people came over that couldn't make it out Saturday. THEN, my grandma calls me....... Grandma scares the shit out of me sometimes. She's normally so sweet to me and we can talk forever but something sounded weird about her voice and she was being really mean. Kept saying things like "well I'm your grandma....." I think she was mad cause my cousin organized a party for all the August birthdays and I had to work and couldn't make it or bring Mikayla. BUT, no one asked me before hand if that date would be alright.... so I didn't ask off work. I would have had I known. I don't try to avoid anyone but no one seems to understand that I HAVE to work. Yeah sean is drawing unemployment right now but I also have to work..... I just hate when she does that to me.... it makes me want to just leave this town for good. I stay here for her........ but if she starts treating me the way my other grandma treats me too then it'll be better for my mind to just go. I feel so stretched anymore.... I work full time, I'm amom full time and I have to take care of a house that my husband barely touches.... so when I do finally get an off day, all I want to do with it is sit at home and be lazy.... I don't want to go do something with a million people who are gonna ask a milion questions about my life ya know. That and I have a certain someone that I care not to see anymore... I used to be proud of them but another friend of mine has been telling me about them calling wanting things so I'm not even gonna touch that subject ever again.

So anyway, I'm 29 now. yay lol. And I've rambled enough now.... lol

My kid's party is the 16th at Deenas house..... and since I didn't go to theirs, I bet no one comes to hers..... but we'll see I guess. I've started inviting back up children.... haha just to make sure she has little friends to play with. I really hope my one cousin can come.... bring all her kiddo's and let em all play.... I enjoy spending time with her and her family... they are awesome.

Gotta get ready for work now tho..... I'll post pics tonight.... but I'll leave you with this one.... this is Me and Russ in the pool.... haha It took 4 men to get me in the pool.... fully fucking clothed... lol Russell finally managed cause he was willing to go in too.... haha

Assholes.... lol
I didn't let go of him... haha he WAS going in with me.
This is Jeremy and Josh trieing... I got out of this though.. and pushed Josh in in the process. I'm a frikkin spider monkey. I wrestle constantly with guys that double my size... don't fuck with me, I'm a tough little thing. My friend at work tells me all the time that I have the heart of a Pit Bull and the body of a chihuahua.

Jeremy trying his best..... I like this picture though cause my hair looks neat.

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