I Was Put Here To Offend.

Feel free to Bleep Off!

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Torn Between Good and Evil

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

A Good Day

I've had such a good day today. =)

Had to work from 9-2 which is a cake shift, and we weren't very busy so it was great. Got to hang out with Sean for a bit, took Mik to the mall to walk around and got some last minute halloween stuff. Ate dinner, came home, got to relax for a few before Sean left for the haunted house.... then he left around 6.

About 630 someone knocks on the door, and the just walks in.. lol, it was my cousin Brian. =) I haven't seen him in awhile so it was great to hang out with him for a little bit. =) I miss him sometimes.

Well then like 10 minutes after he leaves Nick and Joe from work stop by... they hang out for about half an hour or so just chatting and whatever....

After they leave, I go mess with my make up some (tell you why in a second) and get all my emails and shit sent out on line... chat on yahoo a little, and the phone rings... it's Lurch and Jess and they wanna come over. =) So they come over and chill with me for a while...
And theres very few people I enjoy more than Lurch and Jess. =) So I was all kinds of happy. =)

So I've had a great day so far... lol I'm gonna wait up till Sean gets home and see if I can't make it even better. ;)

I get to dress up for work tomorrow. I told him the only way I'd work on halloween is if he let me dress up.. He gave me rules. lol So, I improvised. ;)

I'm going as... Torn between good and evil. I'm going to draw stitches from my hairline down my body, then one side of my body is going to be all glittery and angelic and the other is all dark and demented.. hehe I have horns, and a black fuzzy halo that I'm wearing crooked. hehe My pentagram necklace and cross earrings.... Pimp shit. haha Wonder if I'll offend anyone? ;)

So Happy Halloween to everyone... Be safe, check your candy, and do something evil for me.

Friday, October 26, 2007


Isn't it funny how life works out sometimes?

The other day for example..... We had really bad storms come through our town... and I was at work sitting in our dining room watching the main street outside flood... and The guy I was working with and me kept saying.... Someones gonna wreck right there.... everyone was driving way too fast and there was at least a foot of standing water on the road..... but no wrecks.... till I get home....

Russ calls.... on his way home from my house he wrecked his car on the expressway.

Makes me feel bad for anticipating a wreck in front of my store..... Karma.

Russ and car are both alright now... he had to do some repairs to the car but for the most part nothing major was wrong...

Then I'm sitting at home last night thinking about how bored I am... and how it'd be awesome to talk to my out of town friends..... and the phone rings..... and it's friggin them! I haven't talked to them in over a year... haven't talked to them about calling or anything, and the one time I'm sitting there thinking about them..... they call.. kinda freaky. lol


So Haloween is almost here now. =) I bought Mik a bride costume cause she wants to be a dead bride, well Seans mom emails me the other day and tells me to not blood and gore her up for church... hahahahahaha so she'll just be a plain old bride for church I guess.. lol

So I know you've all watched Ghost Hunters too right? On Sci Fi.... It's a great show... weeeelllllll.... dvr or tivo it Halloween night everyone cause they'll be here in my town... Louisville. They are doing another special on "the most haunted place on earth" Waverly Hospital... I could tell you personal stories for hours about this place and my visits there.. I luv it there... but this is the 2nd or 3rd time now that the Ghost Hunters have come here to examine it... and this should be a great episode. =)


Did pretty good yesterday about mom. I ended up taking half of a half of a xanax to help me out... but I did fine I think... Even the couple hours I sat here all by myself waiting on Sean to get home from the Haunted House. I know mom's better and even though I miss her like crazy knowing she's not sick anymore always takes over my sadness.
I did keep thinking tho about last year.... the night after she died, Sean had to work the haunted house and I had to stay home by myself all night then too... that night was pretty bad.


Supposed to go out Haunted Housing tonight.... should be fun.. I think Manda's going if she can find a sitter (welcome to my world finally lol), and Deena is gonna go I think and I know my amber is going. I haven't seen her since Russ's party so I'm glad to get to hang out with her. =) I'd like to go hang out with Jodie afterwards but I'm not sure how I'd get in to get to her.. lol so I won't do that I guess. I have a sitter until about 10 tomorrow night too but I have to work all fucking day long tomorrow so that blows monkey nuts! lol Oh well. Least I get to go out tonight.


Know something funny? I'm listening to my itunes right now and I have them set to shuffle or whatever... and the jumps it takes is weird sometimes.. lol Go from like Marilyn Manson to friggin Strawberry Wine..... lol that just doesn't seem right does it? haha

Anyway, I'm just rambling now but I haven't gotten to make a real good post in awhile so it's kinda nice to just ramble.

Everyone have a good day. I luv you all. =)

Thursday, October 25, 2007

One Year Ago Today.

Mikayla turned 5 years old
Halloween's getting near
Neil had another kid
And I was the last to hear
They skipped the big yard sale
I never did hear why
And I can't remember which one but
another of grandmas brothers died
Alot of things have happened
when I just wanted to call you up
I even grabbed the phone a few times
The slow realization has been a bit rough
I know that I can handle this
I can prove myself again
I just really really don't want to
You and I werent meant to end
Lee and Kevin got married
We'll see how that goes
Denielle and Kyle moved back to town
and she's hiding their 4th underneath her clothes
You'd be so proud of Brian though...
Their wedding's coming in May
They just bought their first house
Brian calming down some... never thought we'd see the day
Baby Danielle and Baby Tre are here
They are both getting really big
I tried to quit smoking for New Years, but I can't give up my cigs.
Donna and Steve tied the knot
I'm so very happy for them
Sean and I got to be part of one of our buddy's short film's
Sean played Satan.. fits him to a T
Mik was even in it.. sitting on Josh's knee
Him and Deena bought a house too.. can't remember how long thats been
It has a big pool outside, so you know Deena's in heaven
I'm sure theres much more to tell you
That I've just failed to recall
I just kinda wanted to catch you up
In case you didn't see it all
I miss you everyday... it's harder the longer it's been
I'll miss you everyday I think, you were my best friend.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Feeding my dark side

Always right around the corner
But so much gets in the way
People run their mouths about us
And we never have anything to say

Used to think
Kill em with kindness
But watching them sink
Is feeding my dark side

Not one to wish bad things
Because that 'times 3' thing is a bitch
"Oh my, she said 'times 3', Robyn must be a witch"
It's almost like being stalked

Used to think
Kill em with kindness
But watching them sink
Is feeding my dark side

I've changed my thinking lately
I think I've unearthed the real me
I felt it as a kid too, but hid it basically
It peeked out here and there then, but now it's in full force
And because of it the rumors fly, and people believe them of course

Used to think
Kill em with kindness
But watching them sink
Is feeding my dark side

Feeding it...... Feeding it.......

My thoughts are getting wicked
My sex is getting rough
My wardrobe is gaining accessories
My attitude is more tough
My heart is full as ever
My life is back on track
I hardly ever say never
And I have my husband back

So I think this change has been a good thing
And I'm excited for what else it'll bring

So on this side, I think I'll sit
And you fuckers go on and feed it

I Used to think
Kill em with kindness
But watching them sink
Is feeding my dark side

And it's got an appetite!

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

This will probably be one of the most honest posts i've ever made before.

I'm going to talk about things that I generally don't talk to anyone about minus a few select people.

Sean and I have had a few issues lately. I won't go into specifics on all that but the things that have happened has had me thinking about everything. And I've come to a realization.

I thought about leaving Sean. I really did. I sat down and figured out how I could afford it, what I could pay in bills, etc. And even though I didn't have it figured out exactly, I was still thinking about it.

But then it came to me. This is the first problem him and I have ever had. The first. I mean, yea we've had a silly argument or two in the past but we basically get along great. The biggest issue we ever had was him lieing to me about drinking, but we got that under control years ago. But this..... this broke my heart. it really did. And again, I'm not gonna say what happened exactly but it really hurt me. But this is the first major problem we've ever had.

I sat and thought about my life. I can't imagine Sean not in it. I lov ehim more than anything besides my daughter... there's just no one like him.. And I don't think I'd ever find a man I'd be this comfortable around ever again..

Russ's 80's birthday party

Saturday night we had my friend Russ's b-day up at Bulldogs. Had 5 bands playing for him.... and this was the first time since we've been doing these shows that I had the opportunity to take Mikayla with me. So she went to her very first concert Saturday night with me. Sean had to work the haunted house so it was just her and me. Luckily my friend Kim brought her little girl too so Mik had her best friend to play with too. She stayed with us till right about 130 or 2 am... then I was dancing and looked over and she'd pulled 2 chairs together and layed down.. hehe so I decided it was time to go.

We had a great time though. It was an 80's themed party so you were supposed to come in costume.. Most people didn't but you know I did. hehe.. and so did Mik. =) There was 10 or 12 of us total that dressed up though so it wasn't too bad... But I had to show some pics.. lol

This is just a group of us that were there.
My whole costume. 80's baby... hehe
My kid is the one on the right... look how friggin tired she looks... lol this was at like 2am.
Me and Mz. Chloa. She's the vocals for Anton Mink.
Me and my Jess. =)
More rejects...
Me and the beautiful Amber. =)
Russ, the birfday boy.
Lurch, Corky and Me in the Scooby Van. =)
Best Friends. =)

Friday, October 12, 2007


Just a quick post....

Everyone that stops by here needs to go over to Moose's blog and leave her some love. http://moosekahl.blogspot.com/

Her momma has been fighting cancer for quite some time now and she was finally released from it today. =( As much of a relief as it is to see someone you love not suffer anymore, it's still a very heartbreaking time. Being so close to my moms 1 year anniversary, this really strikes a nerve or two with me, but also, over the past couple year or so I've been blogging here, I've developed a great friendship with Moose. We've had many conversations about our moms and our feelings and also all the good things in life.... and I know almost exactly how she feels right now. So I would really appreciate it if everyone of you that stop by here, go on over to her blog and leave her some happy feelings. =)

Luv you girl and I'm here if you need to talk. (((((HUGS))))))

Tuesday, October 02, 2007


I feel like my world is coming to an end around me.

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