Just shut up already!

One of my cousins is in town right now. She moved a few years ago out to Arizona, and she wanted to come in and spend some time with my mom, so she got in yesterday and will be here till Friday morning sometime.

Spent most the night hanging out with her, realized that I really kinda miss her. She's one of the few I can actually get along with in my family. I can't remember a time when she's called me names or questioned the way I live... and I really respect that. It seems anymore that someone always has to question the way we choose to do things. Currently, everyone is putting in their 2 cents about how I should handle telling Mikayla about my mom. Like it's anyones business but mine right? I even heard a rumor that a certain someone was planning to "have a talk" with Mik at the birthday party I managed to get out of going to. Yea... that would have went over well huh? Have a little talk with my 4 year old will ya? be the last talk you'd make with teeth for sure!

And yea you're thinking.. Why would you try to get out of going to a family gathering? Well, my grandma even didn't really want to go. What's that tell ya? She took her extra set of keys so that she could up and leave if she wanted to. My cuz Lee said something to her that morning that got her all upset and crying and she didn't want to listen to it all day or take the chance of everyone ganging up on her when I wasn't around... how sad is that? My grandma relys on me to keep people from being mean to her. She knows I won't stand for it. I luv my grandma sooo much. She's one of the best people in the world, and so many are missing out because of the way they treat her. Lee though.... she's a piece of work. She likes to feel I think like what she has to say matters... and it might if she'd learn how to not be such a bitch about it. But she's always so harsh with everything she says and so demanding that no one likes to be around her. That... and she's bitching about the same old thing everyone bitches about to Grandma... I mean.. obviously she isn't listening to it.. so what's the point in repeating it over and over again ya know?

We had another birthday party to go to Sunday so we didn't have to go to my Uncles. I really wanna see my Uncle Wendell cuz he might not have too much longer with us but I've already called him and set up a time for just me to go visit him.. so that'll be better anyway. =)

I had this whole post written out and decided to just draft it instead. But I explained everything that Mikayla knows about her mamaw... all the things I've told her and all the things I'm waiting to tell her... and I was going to post it so that all my readers knew what my plans were in that department... but then I decided... Why do I need to explain anything? She's my daughter. I didn't ask anyone to help me have her and I'm not asking anyone to help me raise her either. She knows what she needs to know, the rest can be said when the time is right. And the very next person who says anything to me about it will get that exact response.

I have this cousin who is very.. um.... big mouthed I guess is the word I'mlooking for. She keeps telling my Grandma that I'm just going about this all wrong and I should do it this way or whatever and it's starting to piss me off. This is the same cousin who has only recently started to actually be in her kids lives. Prior to this she was on drugs and god knows where... so yea she's mother of the year huh? Gonna take advice from that one... Umm no. I barely even ask my mom for parental advice.. I think I'm pretty damned good at this whole parenting thing. Mik's a very smart little girl. She knows things most 4 year olds don't..... and she knows enough about her mamaw right now. I REFUSE to tell her right now that mom is going to die, regardless of what everyone else is telling their children. I mean, yea sure.. I do things wrong sometimes but so does EVERYONE. If you don't do things wrong then you'll never learn anything, and I haven't caused any damage to Mik yet.. so I've gotta be doing something right. I just wish everyone would back the fuck up off me. I'm not going to listen to you... so save your breath. I do things my way... always have.. always will. Ask my closest friends, they'll tell ya. I have my own way to do things, but my heart is huge, and my intentions are all good so just let me be. Right Manda? =)

I'm done with that though... I get so sick of fighting with my family. I get so sick of everyone thinking that I can't handle things on my own. I've done just fine up until this point haven't I? And I'm not interested in everyones opinions. At all. I'm not being a smart ass either, I just don't know any other way of saying it.

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So anyway, went Sunday to Bethany's birthday party.. had a blast. Her mom rented one of those bouncy things and the kids had too much fun. She invited all the kids from her preschool class so there were tons of kids for Mik to play with.

Saturday was Seanand my 6 year anniversary.... we both forgot... lmao! Shannon called to wish me a happy one and we were like oh yeah that is today.. hehe so we didn't do anything but have a nice dinner and.. um..... yea you can figure out the rest.. lol

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Woke up yesterday feeling like I was gonna die. THANKS CHRISTINA!

I think I have a kidney stone... AGAIN! GAWD! I've had 15 of these fucking things.... don't you think that's enough? ugh......... So yesterday was spent doped up on pain pills and I'm sure today will be as well.... right now I'm ok... but give it time.... blah!

So anyway.... that's a short re-cap of what's been going on.... sounds fabulous doesn't it? lol

Luvs.