Things I Did Last Night

ThingsIDidLastNight.com click it. hehe

Jokers Dark Carnival is BACK!!

Sean found a new radio station. Radiovenom.org It's a really kickass station so far too. The shows are broadcasted in certain stores in like Jersey or something,I'm not positive.. lol he knows all the specifics better, but it has a real time counter with thebroadcasting program so you can see for yourself how many people are listening at that moment, which is something none of the other stations have had so thats awesome. =) His shows are 930 friday nights...Starting tonight.... radiovenom.org click on the radiostation tab, then click radiovenom stream and it should open and play.. u can join the chat from the main page too and if you like it, you can join the site as a member. It's free,, but u can listen and chat without joining too.

He's really trying to get a high number of listeners tonight tho, so at least check it out if you're just sitting there on your computer anyway.. u dont have to chat or pay attention to anything, just click the link and let it play while u work. I guarentee you will be entertained. It's me and Sean (Joker) all night long... lol =)

This is his first show back in a year. He stopped doing shows when the station he previously worked for went under, and he has really missed it. He's a great Dj, like i said, I guarentee you will enjoy the show.. so check it out if u can. =)

Miss my momma

So i noticed a pattern.... lol I use my poor blog to bitch... seems to be all I do anymore... so let me re phrase that last post...

Family isn't shit to me anymore except a bunch of people that try to hurt your feelings.

At dinner the other night at Seans moms house, her and I were talking about Mikaylas size (shes a big kid) and i said... she sure didn't get her size from me or sean.... and his mom chimes in with.... she must get that from your mom.

My mom was a bigger lady, she was 190 pounds when she died and just barely 5 foot, so she was a good sized woman... BUT, mom's fat came from eating wrong and not exercising.. Mikaylas is genetic... and it sure didn't come from mom.. MY genetics came from her, and I'm fucking tiny.... So what she basically said was, your kids big and your mom was big, thats where it came from...

BUT, in reality.... she is built just like the Durkins... she's got hair from her neck to her ass like they do, and her body looks like theirs does... she's gonna be a "thick" girl i'd say... Not fat exactly but not skinny or thin by any means either... Seans sister blew up for awhile... she has lost (most) of it now but it's cause she worked to lose it.... but genetically she's meant to be a bigger girl, she just wasnt happy with her size and did something to correct it... And his mom isn't thin either....

i'm not sure why I care so much.. but just thinking about his sisters comment on his facebook and then his moms comment about my kid... it just hurts my feelings a little.

Told Sean tonight that I really miss my mom.. she was always on my side, she always took up for me and she wouldn't let anyone talk to or treat me like that without letting them know just how wrong they were. and without her, I'm the only one who defends me against family....

Just feels kinda lonely... and everyone thinks I'm this huge bitch because I open my mouth when I feel like someones done me wrong, or my kid or my husband... I'm just always quick to open my mouth if need be.... I just kinda wish Sean would back me up when it comes to family.

We stopped going to anything having to do with my family because of the things that get said to and about us by them.. I'm tired of fighting with them, it's always stupid petty and unnecessary, so we just don't go anymore... and since then, the only arguments I've gotten into with any of them was when we stayed there and painted the god damned walls the wrong way...

But I told him today that I'm finished with his family gatherings too. Neither of us go to mine, and I'm not going to go to his anymore either.... You only get one chance to say something negative about my momma, and that one chance has been spent now. had it not been a celebration for his brother I'd have said what i thought right then but I kept my mouth shut for everyone elses sake... But it really did hurt my feelings.

And what I read that shannon said hurt my feelings too because when sean and I got back together I had to sit and listen to his friggin sister say about the same thing his mother said about being a close family and blah blah yet when I'm not around they sure can run their mouths... and thats ok. But let me say something and omg. thats being a hypocrit.

Just know this... I sat and let you say what you needed to say to me, BUT, it was only because Sean asked me to so that we could keep the peace while we had to live there... You didn't make any points, U didn't "put me in my place" and you sure aren't fooling anyone either. I know how everyone really feels about me. Thanks guys.

Fuck you very much. ;)

Was lookin back like a year ago at facebook updates on seans profile cuz i was tryin to find a picture someone had posted back in like may of 09 and I came across an update where Sean was planning to go to Florida with his girlfriend to get *our* stuff from storage.. (he never went lol) but his sister had left a comment that said "I'm so glad you're finally going to get YOUR stuff" and man it hit me the wrong way...

When we were staying with Linda, I had to endure her stupid "we're a close knit family" speech and listen to how much they all loved me and blah blah puke whatever... well, then I see this.... and you know what? haha fuck you.

EVERYTHING in that storage is all things that Sean and I got TOGETHER... if ya wanna get technical theres a lot of things there that were mine before I even met him... but still, it's all *OURS* not *HIS* so stuff your oh robyn we love you and want to be family crap... you sure seemed happy when i wasn't in the picture...

lol, 2 faced.... thats all that is... not that I expect any less but still.. its funny to finally have proof of it.. haha All those people have been right all along.. lol

Facebookedness

I'm so hopelessly addicted to Facebook and I love them saying things they pop up and you can click like on.... anyway.. seen one the other day and i LOVED it.. I soo want a bumper sticker that says it... "Going to Church every Sunday doesn't make you a Christian any more than Standing in a Garage makes you a car" OMG I luved it... lol

and then today I'm hobbling home from the store up the street and I seen the bumper sticker my neighbor has on her car and it said "Nature is my Church" I want that sticker too... lol

So we are all moved in now.. got everything here, including my fuzzy babies.. yaaaaay!!! =) it's a pretty small apt but it works, and it's ours and we can afford it... lol so hopefully we can get everything else in order now.

I'm almost done bitching i think... lol

my mom took more care of you than anyone else did... if anyone is your mother it's her.. your mom was a piece of shit. shows alot about you that you didnt even mention her.

and

was told today..."he doesnt like or trust you because you smoke pot" now the "he" in mention stopped me the other day and said "i got these pills i need to get rid of to buy some food for my kids" And of course I'm not helping him sell no fucking pills.. im not quite like that but still.. how you gonna say your kid cant come hang out with me cause i occasionally smoke pot but yet you can buy her dinner with some drug money??? that makes a bunch of sense...

lol I hate people.

have u noticed that? hehe





On a brighter note.. we have everything.... but the cats, at our new apt.... and the cats come home tonight... yaaaaaaaaay. I gets my babies tonight hehe... but yep its all here now... I'm so happy... hehe

I laid in a field one day just looking at the clouds.
The different shapes amazed me as the sun was slowly shroud
It made me think of how things go, how this life can make us feel.
the happiness that can leave so fast and then reappear again, it's unreal.
I've said that it's unfair to us, to take us up then down that fast
But the unfairness actually lies in not every getting that chance.
That "nothing happens without reason" thing is bout the truest thing you'll ever learn
And that attitude works most the time, but then you get burned

fuck a hater.

And this is also for the *you don't keep it clean enough* comment I got too.... fuck yout oo.... compare my folded clothes and occasional empty can or cup to these pictures.... then sit back and FEEL REAL DUMB. I scraped 3 inches of 14 dogs feces off the floor.... THEN helped re drywall and paint it al by ourselves to fix shit he;d damaged YEARS ago...... yet he sure wasnt there to help was he? no I was... like I always am............. yet I'm the bad guy..... yeah explain that to your higher power one day.



In case anyone reads my second post down where I'm real good and bitching about how my *family* treats me..... and then wants to say something, or tell me I'm wrong or question a god damned thing... I figured I'd re-post these pictures to refresh your small minds..... THIS IS GRANDMAS BASEMENT WHEN BRIAN LIVED DOWN THERE....... and why does it NOT look like that anymore? Because of me.... strictly me... not you, not you, not you and most god damned definitly not you... not any one of you... not a single one.... not one fucking supportive let me help my aging grandmother statement came out there mouths.. nope, it was all bitch bitch give her a hard time whine moan and do absolutly nothing else.... who helped? the same person who ALWAYS helps.... ME... yeah read that twice so you fucking get it..... ME...... ME. understand it now? yeah that was me......

it wouldn't have happened without me either. cause he sure wasn't going to do it, hell hed have let his dogs rot die and starve down there is not for who? oh yeah, ME again....

so fuck you who thinks I do nothing to help..... fuck you whole heartedly.... and right click and save these pictures too.. so that next time you want to run your god damned mouth about robyn.... you have some nice refreshing pictures to remind you just what exactly I ALONE do for our grandmother........

=)

man that feels better

We got an apartment!!! =) We looked at a house also and we could have gotten it too but we chose the apartment. We were trying really hard to keep Mikayla in her school.. she loves it there and is established and has friends and whatnot there so we were trying to be able to let her stay if possible. And where the apartment is at she doesnt even have to change her bus stop. This one is the same price the house was and everythings included here too, so that makes a diference also, but it's pretty small in comparrison to the house. Oh well... the pros outweigh the cons.... BIGGEST thing I don't like about the apt tho is that there is no tub, it's a shower only.. and i love a bath sometimes... but I'll get around that... lol I'll like borrow friends tubs... hahahaha

We moved in today... well, I say we... I along with help from friends moved us in today.. Sean had to work... took him to work at 930am like always (not usually saturdays tho) and it's not 1219am and he STILL isn't off work yet... WTFucking F????? They got done around 11pm and headed home (they were in lexington) and they about got to Louisville and his boss realizes he left his cell phone so what's he do?? TURNS around!!! Takes all of them all the way back to lexington to get his stupid phone.... like whats he really need it at fucking midnight for anyway? get the damned thing tomorrow... let your fucking employees go home already.... so yeah, i'm just laying here on the floor of our new place waiting on him to get home and see it.

Have some issues with this place, but I'm trying to control them myself.... if I can't I'll ask for advice.. lol but I think I can get it under control.. last tenant was nasty nasty nasty dirty and because of that there are bugs and mice..... BUT, I cleaned like a mother fucker today and have sprayed and put out traps and all that... dont plan to bring any real food in here for least a week... I got rid of the mice at my grandmas, I'm sure I can kill the bastards here too.. lol plus I bring my cats home tomorrow too.. so they will help for sure. ;)

I still think it's crap that we had to do all this to begin with... but what the fuck ever.. anytime i tell the story to someone they all say well she's old robyn... and yep she's old they're right about that.. but she still had no reason to be toward me like she was being there for a couple weeks, Jim tried to make me feel like I provoked it but his ass was in the basement the whole time and doesn't know jack about jack to be giving any opinions in the first fucking place.. everyone thats been around has seen her be bitchy to me for almost a month for no good reason. And it pisses me off to have it ONCE AGAIN turned around to look like I started it. I know what it is.... I'm always quick to let you know when you've pissed me off and everyone in my family has been on that receiving side before so they all think I'm just this horrible bitchy person BUT, I'm only like that when I need to be. Normally I'm very loveable... I have to like beat people off me I'm so loveable....

But, point being... I didn't start this... she started off mad over the fucking paint in the basement that we "fixed".... (its not any different than it was before but we put another coat on the whole place just cause we were asked to, but it was the same shit the 3rd coat was done with... how do i know this?? because we are literally the only ones who touched a brush and painted anything) so anyway, she was mad over that initially then jim tried to throw the "you dont keep things clean enough" speech at me... like ok, I have time to do absolutly everything your mother and brother needs, cook and clean for them, wash their clothes, have time with my kid and husband and everything else.. then keep a 10 by 10 box that 3 people live in clean.... my fucking bad dude... he said *we've been keeping an eye on you* realllly? that's so comforting..... I'm 30 fucking years old and i PAY RENT for my 10 by 10 box... leave me the hell alone... then it became... "the 3 of you are too much for her, you all stress her out and her health is my #1 concern" He said that about 4 times.. "her health is my #1 concern" yeah thats why i take her to all her doctors appointments and pick up her prescriptions and make sure she knows what each one is and does... because I obviously don't give a fuck.. specially when compared to his level of caring.

it's shit like that that make me so mad.... I do absolutly literally anything she asks me to do for her... anything... and yeah... anything.... I've come over at 2 am to clean her shitpot when she couldnt make it to the bathroom and ended up having to go in a garbage can or elsewhere... because I'm like that... I love her and I will do anything I can for her... but I make one stupid mistake like use the wrong god damned paint and I'm satan incarnate... fuck that.. I don't have to be treated that way by anyone.. I have never.... repeat that... NEVER met ANYONE who is better than i am. WHY? because everyone is equal..... aren't you christians supposed to believe that anyway? fucking hypocrits. I don't even believe in that mumbo jumbo yet I follow that everyone is equal statement... so take your opinions of me and blow them out your tight puckered little assholes. I'm a great person.... and I deserve some sort of appreciation for the shit I do. Bottom line. agree or not but it's a fact.

still no job or no home but hey it's been a good week =)

Had a pretty good past couple days... Our trip to court the other day went great... well, as well as a court date can go i suppose.. lol Sean ended up with the least possible scenario there could have been... which made me happy.. lol We still have to go back once more but it's just to seal everything but it's not a big deal for that one. I'm sooo relieved tho, had me kinda flippin out a little.. lol

He had taken that day off work and we got out much faster than we expected to and he could have gone back to work but he really just needed a good day out instead so him and I took Mickey up to Kentucky Down Under and thru Mammoth Onyx Cave. Was the first time shed ever been on a cave tour.. her and I have gone thru the cave in the cemetary up the road but it's nowhere near the same thing as this... the guide explained to her how far we were underground and she was amazed that we were the length of 4 school buses underneath the ground. It was fun, she loved it. Ky Down Under is like an australian and exotic animal zoo. There is maybe 30 exhibits total but it's still really neat. Me and Mik got t opet a kangaroo.. I have to download a picture resizer but then I'll post some pics from it. =)

We all went and got root beer floats one night also... we've just had fun spending time with our kiddo this week, it's been nice. Tonight she asked to stay with a friend so she's gone there tonight... it's strange when your child gets to the age that they start wanting to stay somewhere else... instead of you having to talk someone into keeping them overnight, they are practically begging you to stay at so and sos house... lol I remember being that age tho.. although I was the kid who everyone wanted to stay ats house instead of me going over there... lol I always had someone overnight. I'm equal tho, I'll keep anyones child that needs it and Id on't charge a dime.. lol I just enjoy keeping other peoples kids and I also enjoy my daughter being entertained and me getting to rest a second.. lol

I wanted to make dinner tonight... haven't gotten to cook for anyone lately and I don't wanna cook at my grandmas anymore... Harolds so god damned picky for one thing and Grandma would probably find something to bitch at me about if I cooked anyway so it's just not worth it... so I went and bought all i needed, called some friends and rallied at our rendevous point and i made dinner for us. =) Bernie, Belynda, Nick, Sean, and Mickey... Kevin was invited too but never showed, but theres plenty leftover so he'll get some of it eventually.. lol Made Meatloaf, Macaroni, Mashed Taters, and Pasta Salad... Yep it's a shit ton of starches but it's all my favorites and I really wanted them lol... had green beans too... but it was nummy... made me happy. =)

Then we all went to the Clark county fair.. lol it's in bum fuked indiana but seans work rented them signs for it and sean has been there all day programming them and he discovered they had a hawaiian shaved ice hut in their little fair and I've been sooooo wanting a hawaiian shaved ice lately.. lol so we drove all the way there for me to get my icee hehe... he loves me. =) So do my friends.. hehe But it was fun still.. a fairs a fair. Bernie got to see Sheep so it was a good night.. lol

Now it's almost 1 lol but we have no kid so I think Sean and I are gonna go wandering up Frankfort Ave and see what it has to offer on a saturday night. =)

LUVS

the good the bad and the freaky

I got a new cell phone today.. i think this is like my 435th one in my lifetime.. lol I break em bout as soon as i get em i think. lol Hopefully this one will last a few months at least. hehe It's just a cheap prepaid 20 dollar phone but it's actually kinda neat. It's got a camera, speakerphone, internet, caller id and the front display thing... i likes it. =)

I also have my hands on a camera now too... awwww yeah, so expect the pics to come back. =) I de virused my poor computer too yesterday.. it's all healthy and clean again, it was on the verge of a meltdown.. lol couldnt get on the net for nuthin.. it was pissing me off. lol

Got some good news on the renting a place issue.... i dont really wanna say a whole lot cause i dont want many people knowing how its going or whatever... And really it's not that i care if they know it, I just care if the people they would tell know it.. I think it's pretty shitty that I was talked out of getting another job, and lead to believe i was moving in then 3 days after i officially let my apartment go, i get told i cant live there now and i had to actually ask permission to stay til the 31st of the month so id have time to get a job and a place.... thats what gets me. If I was told, I don't think this is gonna work like I thought it would, but I'll give you a couple months to find you something decent and save a little money because I realize you lost the place you were staying based on my word....then I'd be alright with it... but the way it was done, it's like you have less than 30 days to find a job, get paid enough to save enough to rent another place to live.... now typically a palce of employment holds your first check for 2 weeks anyway, so I'd not even get paid but once in that 30 days.. and it more than likely wouldnt be a full check either... and to rent somewhere around here you have to pay first months rent which is at least 500 and also an additional months rent for a deposit.... thats 1000 dollars... in 30 days... yep thats totally reasonable. yay family.

The job part I haven't figured out yet but I've put in alllll kinds of applications, gonna put in a couple more when I'm done with this.. hehe and Seans bosses let me do little here and there work for them like cleaning their offices and whatnot.. so thats a little income i have but it's nothing impressive lol. BUT, a friend of mine wrote me today and told me about ahouse a friend of hers dads owns and how he hasnt put it up for rent yet because he wants to take his time and find someone who he wont have to chase down for rent every month and for people who will help to maintain the house instead of calling him over little dumb shit all the time... and we are exactly like that.. lol I might be late on most all my bills but I always pay rent on time.. lol So we get to go see the inside of it tomorrow.. we looked at the outside today and liked it.. the neighborhoods not the best in town but it's not the worst either and where the house is isn't really bad at all.. it's just one of those don't hang out at night at the very end of the street type things... lol but been there done that before... you can't be too picky when your grandma kicks you and your family out and doesnt even give you a full month to save for something better.... and he's not charging me a deposit if we take it either since it still needs a few things fixed but I'm game... whatever gets me out of a place where I'm not wanted works for me.

BUT, I don't forsee me bending over backwards anymore.... less it's for Sean and we're getting freaky... other than that.... yeah, no.

More recycled HNT's.

I recently came across the opportunity to take pics but it was someone elses camera so I don't wanna put any good ones on it.. lol so I just recycled some (again) I don't like not participating.. hehe So next week i'll have new ones.. I promise promise.. lol








These first two are from my 29th birthday party my luv threw for me at Deenas




This one is from Halloween, um, let's see... this was our house in Fern Creek, and Mik was like a year old so 03 I guess... 04 maybe.... lol Idk for sure. But yeah, I was a kitty. =)

So again, sorry for re-using old pictures... lol but I don't really change that much anyway.. I look the same.. haha

HHNT!!!! =)