Miss my momma

So i noticed a pattern.... lol I use my poor blog to bitch... seems to be all I do anymore... so let me re phrase that last post...

Family isn't shit to me anymore except a bunch of people that try to hurt your feelings.

At dinner the other night at Seans moms house, her and I were talking about Mikaylas size (shes a big kid) and i said... she sure didn't get her size from me or sean.... and his mom chimes in with.... she must get that from your mom.

My mom was a bigger lady, she was 190 pounds when she died and just barely 5 foot, so she was a good sized woman... BUT, mom's fat came from eating wrong and not exercising.. Mikaylas is genetic... and it sure didn't come from mom.. MY genetics came from her, and I'm fucking tiny.... So what she basically said was, your kids big and your mom was big, thats where it came from...

BUT, in reality.... she is built just like the Durkins... she's got hair from her neck to her ass like they do, and her body looks like theirs does... she's gonna be a "thick" girl i'd say... Not fat exactly but not skinny or thin by any means either... Seans sister blew up for awhile... she has lost (most) of it now but it's cause she worked to lose it.... but genetically she's meant to be a bigger girl, she just wasnt happy with her size and did something to correct it... And his mom isn't thin either....

i'm not sure why I care so much.. but just thinking about his sisters comment on his facebook and then his moms comment about my kid... it just hurts my feelings a little.

Told Sean tonight that I really miss my mom.. she was always on my side, she always took up for me and she wouldn't let anyone talk to or treat me like that without letting them know just how wrong they were. and without her, I'm the only one who defends me against family....

Just feels kinda lonely... and everyone thinks I'm this huge bitch because I open my mouth when I feel like someones done me wrong, or my kid or my husband... I'm just always quick to open my mouth if need be.... I just kinda wish Sean would back me up when it comes to family.

We stopped going to anything having to do with my family because of the things that get said to and about us by them.. I'm tired of fighting with them, it's always stupid petty and unnecessary, so we just don't go anymore... and since then, the only arguments I've gotten into with any of them was when we stayed there and painted the god damned walls the wrong way...

But I told him today that I'm finished with his family gatherings too. Neither of us go to mine, and I'm not going to go to his anymore either.... You only get one chance to say something negative about my momma, and that one chance has been spent now. had it not been a celebration for his brother I'd have said what i thought right then but I kept my mouth shut for everyone elses sake... But it really did hurt my feelings.

And what I read that shannon said hurt my feelings too because when sean and I got back together I had to sit and listen to his friggin sister say about the same thing his mother said about being a close family and blah blah yet when I'm not around they sure can run their mouths... and thats ok. But let me say something and omg. thats being a hypocrit.

Just know this... I sat and let you say what you needed to say to me, BUT, it was only because Sean asked me to so that we could keep the peace while we had to live there... You didn't make any points, U didn't "put me in my place" and you sure aren't fooling anyone either. I know how everyone really feels about me. Thanks guys.