Squishy yet Stretchy HNT

Took Mik to see Santa tonight. She was so excited. =) The line area to see him had one of those stretchy mirrors that make you look all deformed.. =) Mik wouldn't hold still so all you can see of her is her running off.. lol but you can see me... and see me... and see me again... hehe I have more pics to post... but I'll do all that tomorrow.

TMI Tuesday...... Late as usual.. lol

LMAO! I'm late AGAIN for TMI Tuesday.... I always always always forget to do it... lol anyway.. here's what should have been posted yesterday.. hehe




1. My biggest sexual turn on is __________? Just Sean in general... he's a Sexi Beast and anything he does turns me on. =)
2. On a scale of 1-10, how jealous do you get (have you gotten)? I'd have to give myself a 3 here.. I'm not a jealous person.. I can't even really recall a specific time when I've gotten so jealous that it started any arguements.
3. Have you ever had sex with someone you work(ed) with? Any negative consequences? Yep.. Sean. =) I met him at work. And nothing negative came from it... actually we've been happily married for 6 years now so I'd say it worked out. And just FYI.... we did "christin" the store we met at. =)
4. Wash up, cuddle or fall asleep? Wash up most definitly.... I have kidney problems so I don't like to just invite the uti's to come and play... lol
5. Which is more important of the two in "chemisty," physical attractiveness or sexual performance? I'd say physical attractivness.... cuz I know that if I'm not attracted to you physically... there isn't going to be any sexual performances... lol

Bonus (as in optional): What kind of birth control do you use? I quit taking B\C about 2 years before I had Mik.... never got back on it.

Time for Shopping!

Well, Now I don't think we're going to go anywhere.. lol Billy and Christina don't seemto think they'll be able to afford everything involved with moving by the first of the year... Oh well... lol
I thought our plans were going to easily.
So I guess we're just gonna stay here in this apt. for now.... which is ok with me really. Long as we can eliminate some of our crap then this place will be fine. And now I don't have to pack or move again anytime soon. Kinda seen this happening anyway.
A family moved in in the apt. below us over the weekend and they have 2 little girls. Both of them are older than Mik but they really seem to enjoy playing with her.. She was at their house for a couple hours last night... that was weird. She's never had friends close by that she could go "hang out with". Hopefully they become pretty good friends. =)

So, the #1 thing on Mik's Christmas List this year is a pony named Buterscotch... it's 27 inches tall and it turns it's head and eats it's carrot and when you brush it's mane it neighs and turns its head to you.. it's really kinda neat.. Target had one on display yesterday and we were playing with it. It's 250 bucks though so I don't know that she's gonna get it.. lol I just can't see the point in buying a toddler a 250 dollar toy.

I've got all of everyone elses Christmas shopping done now... finished it up couple days ago.. Now I'm just waiting for a sitter so that we can go load up the Mik... hehe I love christmas!

Tat Idea

I've been searching around for a tattoo that's either a fairy or an angel and I'm going to have 1993 and 2006 put on it.. 1993 is the year my dad died.. and 2006 is moms. So I've been searching the web looking for ideas..... Found this one and I think I really like it. Whaddayathink?

First time you've seen it HNT

You can't just have the picture with no story behind it... so...........

Before I got pregnant with Mikayla.. I was one of the smallest people that most people knew. Even at 21 years old, I had yet to break 100 pounds. =) I've always been one of the shortest people I knew too... lol

But, as all things do.... it changed... =) I had a lot of difficulties and major swelling when I was pregnant, and as a result of that, I gained right around 80 pounds with Mik. Luckily I dropped almost all of it immediatly when I had her, but for the past 4 years, I've had about 10 extra pounds that I've never been that concerned with losing. And because of how big I got while Preggnoided... I was blessed with a "pooch" of skin that just won't tighten back like in the "good ole days". HA! I've never really complained about my couple extra pounds though... it's never bothered me that much really... but none the less... over the years, it's naturally faded away.

I'm not calling myself skinny... but I don't have that "pooch" anymore either. I do still have a little extra skin that didn't use to be there... but mommyhood does that to ya I guess... I wear it proudly!

Sooo, without further ado.... I give you the part of me that I plan to stuff today.... hehe

And just FYI.... I've NEVER shown a picture of my belly on here before.... I've never been confident enough to do so.. so this is a big step for me.... be nice. =)

Are you one of these people?

K, my Buddy Brent wrote something on his blog today that I think everyone should read.... So click here to go see it.

I only wanna post this one thing that came out of the article he is talking about... and that is this:

Despite what you might have read, heard or been taught throughout your churchgoing life, homosexuality is, in fact, determined at birth and is not to be condemned by God's followers.

And yep.... that's all I wanted to say.

TMI Tuesday

I always seem to forget about TMI TUESDAYS.... so I finally remembered... hehe =)


1. Have you ever bought an adult magazine? If so which one? Lordy... we have a subscription to Playboy, have for years now.... but we've also bought Hustler, Penthouse and Naughty Neighbors in the past... =)
2. Did OJ Simpson really do it? Fuck yea he did... and that book he has out now.. that's insane.. I don't even know what to say about it...
3. Is Clay Aiken gay? Lol..... I guess he could be... he strikes me as gay but that doesn't necessarily mean he is.... Does it matter?
4. Are you racist? If so who do you hate? I don't think I am... I havesome stereotypes that I kinda agree with... Like Mexicans... We have 2 Mexican families living in this apt. complex.. and just like popular belief... theres about 35 of them living in a 2 bedroom apt.... lol so that one.. yes I agree. =)
5. Ever videotaped yourself having sex? Yes.. thank god I'm not famous! lol

Bonus (as in optional): On a scale from 1-10, how kinky are you? Give me an example! =P

I'd say a 6 or 7... I'm not too hardcore or anything but I enjoy the occasional spanking, or being tied up or using toys and role playing... things like that... nothing too major though.. hehe

Wanna play along? Click the button on my sidebar for TMI Tuesdays. =)

It snowed!!!

Grandma had surgery to remove a bone spur off her knee today... she's doing very well though.. even able to walk around alittle which is a GOOD thing.. She hasn't been able to get out of her chair all month long, so to be able to just stand up on her own is a HUGE improvement... so that leave me hopeful that she'll be back up and walking in no time. =)

I've been going over every day and spending all day over there cleaning and cooking and helping her with baths and to the bathroom and whatnot... and the other day she asked me if we'd want to move over there so we could be there to help her out more. And at first I said yes.... but the more I thought about it... the more I don't think I want to. I mean it's a great opportunity for us to be able to save some money... but on the other hand.. theres so much SHIT that goes along with living at that house that I'm not sure I wanna volunteer for. I'd have to deal with listening to Jim bitch every time he stepped foot in there... I'd have to deal with Lee just barging into my room whenever she felt like it... I'd have to deal with Brian and all his stupidness... I'd have to deal with 4 dogs that aren't mine and I'd probably end up being the sole one that took care of them...

And yea.... the dogs.. let's talk about this for a minute... Brian has 11 dogs right now... and barely takes care of them... and Grandma and harold barely say a word about it to him.... But they ASK me to move in... knowing I have 2 cats.. and automatically say "well the cats can't come" Like it's no big deal to just up and get rid of your pets like that... um yea fuck that... cats don't go, robyn don't go. Thems are my little fuzzy children... and they are better behaved that any child I've ever known. My cats aren't going ot sneak into Grandmas house at night and trash the place like his dogs do... my cats don't shit anywhere they please... they don't bark.. they don't escape from their cages (they don't have cages lol).. I take care of my animals... I always have..... and yet I'm the one that ins't allowed to have pets over there.... umm whatever. I talked her into letting me bring them though. hehe

And yea.. to add onto the whole "family" love that my family displays... I had to rearrange and fix Grandmas warddrobe today because Jim punched it. Nice huh? He was pissed at Brian and hit grandmas wardrobe.... wonderful "example" to be setting.... lmao! FIRST thing Jim says to me when I walk in at Grandmas today to help her get ready for her surgey.... FIRST THING...... "Have you seen the fucking mess in the basement?" ummm Like I give a shit??? Like it's MY problem.... and I simply responded "Um, Nope just walked in the door wise one" and man I got a look..... again LMAO..... but DUH.... I'd JUST walked in the door.. I OBVIOUSLY hadn't been to the basement. But I went down there.. and aside from one pile of shit.. it was fine. Like it always is... I think someone needs to grow up personally and stop nit-picking and starting fights with 20 year olds. So right in front of him I cleaned up the poo and sat in the floor to play with the puppies... so he left... THANK GOD. I'm so sick of dealing with the "grown up's" in my family acting more immature than the toddlers that run around.

But anway.... moral of this story is that we've decided to NOT move to Grandmas. I'm not subjecting myself to all that... I'll go help her anytime she needs help.. and I'll stay for as long as I need to stay... and then I'll go home.... to my home that's not there.

We were going to... matter of fact.. had already set up the appointment for the consultation... to have the basement sealed and waterproofed... I was going to re-carpet it... I was going ot build a wall dividing the bedrooms.. and I was going to fix the drywall and bathroom tile.... but not anymore... someone else can fix it.

Christina has been having some issues at home.. and her and Billy are anxious to get their lives started together and get married and move in together and all that but being as young as they are.. are a little inexpierenced in "the ways of the world". So Sean and I decided that we'd all get a place together instead. We're going to stay in this neighborhood cuz 1. I LOVE this area and 2. It's close to the college Christina has chosen. and 3. Jobs are a dime a dozen around this area. so it's a good way to help them get started and for us to get a bigger place.

Christina already has a dog and together her and Billy wanna get a dog... Sean wants a dog (very badly, his heart was broken today over a dog actually).... so we obviously need a yard. Plus this way my CATS won't be deprived of their beloved windows.. lol rotten critters. =)

I think it'll be nice to live with them... I mean when Billy wasn't in the Corp he damned near lived with us anyway cuz he was over every single day so it's not like a great big switch anyway. I'm pretty excited about it though.. I can't wait... We've decided to shoot for moving someitme in January... so we can get through Christmas without having to pack and whatnot.



We got our first "snow" today.... yea.. you Northerners are gonna like this one... it was just enough to make the stairs slick.. lol and by 10 am it was gone.. I'd say it was one twenty-fifth of an inch... lmao... Big ole snow... hehe =) I was gonna take a pic but it wouldn't show up on the camera enough to show it off.. lmao... funny shit...

Anyway.. it's past my kiddo's bedtime.. must go read her a story and tuck her in.

Sweet Dreams everyone. =)

GAWD

Was sitting on the couch watching T.V. last night and the phone rang... It was about 9 and that's about usually when mom would call me at night, so I glanced at the clock and thought to myself "well, it's not mom" ..... It was Hospice calling to check on everyone.. I thought that was really nice of them. The weird part about it though was that just hearing them say "Robyn? This is Hospice" brought back the memory of the phone call they made to me to let me know she passed. Ugh... it was like De ja vu and I didn't like it.

I've talked on here before about Sean and I considering buying Grandmas house.... well, I think we've changed our minds... And it's not really because of the house or its location or anything either... it's because I'm so sick of everyone in my family ragging on Grandma and I don't want them to one day come into my house and make little comments like "it looks so much better without so and so.. or it looks great now.. or any of that other shit that I know they'd say" So I think that when my Grandma is no longer here.. which hopefully that's another 20 years away... but still.. when she's gone, I'm gone too. I really think I want to move out of Louisville. I've talked and talked and talked about it.... we've done it once and had to come back but besides Grandma.. theres no reason to come back now.

I wish I had a close family though. I wish we could have "normal" get togethers where everyone was just happy to see each other and it didn't always turn into a big stupid fight because Jim or LeeAnn couldn't keep their mouths closed for a few hours. It's like they thrive on pissing people off. Lee used to be the number one pisser offer... but anymore it's Jim.. Its like he's turned into a gossipy look at me teenage girl and all attention needs to be focused on him. Anytime he calls my grandma he just goes on and on about the conditionof her house.. which is FINE. She can't even walk right now... has surgery scheduled Monday and I helped her straighten up a little the other day... nothing major.. just dusted and ran the vaccuum and picked some thing sup for her... Well he stops by later and she says all proud like "Robyn helped me clean up today.. looks nice don't ya think" His response??? "No it looks like shit" Nice huh? I'm gonna take post-it notes next time I go to his house and write this is dirty.... dust here.... vaccum me.... I smell funny on them and leave them anywhere I see a cobweb or dust bunny. Think he'll like that?

You all wondering if I'm ever going to get over this? I'm sure you are cuz I do bitch about this alot.... but I just can't help it.. and I used to be able to call mom and talk about it with her but I can't anymore.. and when my Grandma calls me crying and upset because her son treats her like shit... then it just gets me going and I have to tell someone. And yes... she literally calls me CRYING. You're not supposed to make your parents cry. You're not supposed to try and make anyone cry... I have a 4 year old daughter and she barely even crys anymore.

And yes to my cuz "R"... I know you're reading this... and I know you're thinking... shut up already but I can't. and I won't. She's not just MY Grandma.... and she's not my mother... yet she turns to me anytime she needs anything and she calls me anytime she's upset cause she knows that I bend over backwards and go out of my way to do what she needs me to do. And since she doesn't tell people what she thinks, I do it for her. Because they need to know.

How could you sleep at night knowing you caused an old lady so much greif all the time? that would make me feel like absolute shit.

And I'll give credit where credits due.... my family has been good to make her food and bring it to her and bring her things like a potty chair and a wheelchair.. but still.... she doesn't go to their houses an dpoint out everything that's dirty.. why in the hell would they do it to her? Why would anyone do that to anyone? Come to my house and say shit like that and you'd be lucky if you didn't go soaring off my third floor balcony with my foot planted squarely inside your ass. I don't keep my house up to anyones "standards" but my own.. if you can't handle it, feel free to NOT come over. And people know this... Terry used to joke on me all the time cause I'm not the best housekeeper... but it didn't change a damned thing... he knows that I'm not going to change my ways just cause he didn't like it.... and yes Terry if you're reading this.. I know you were joking with me, but in a way I also know you were serious cuz yes my house usually is a mess... but I don't care.. lol And you weren't rude about it... I'm just using you as an example. =) Lucky you.

Brian lies to Grandma. Day in and day out he lies to her... his latest lie was that his dogs can't live outside cuz Skylar "is allergic to grass" Yea that's a load of crap... I called his vet and pretended to be his girlfriend and they told me everything that was wrong with the dogs.. and she laughed at me when I mentioned him being allergic to grass. Brian just made that shit up so grandma would think "oh those poor dogs can't be outside". and yes.. that's shitty.... Don't lie to her either. I had a talk with him though about it... not that anything came out of it but at least he knows I busted his head.

I have 2 Grandmas in this world.... my other Grandma has just recently stopped being mean to me. She's always been a hateful lady who just told you everything that was on her mind.... but since mom died, she's been super sweet to me.. She prolly feels sorry for poor little Robyn that has no parents... but regardless of reason, she's been nice lately and I like it.

The Grandma in question though has always been a super lady. She's always been so sweet and kind to me.. and loving and supportive and everything a Grandma is supposed to be... so I've always tried to do the same for her. Her and I joke all the time that I'm her favorite.... but I'm not so sure it's a joke anymore. I know Renae has always been special to her cuz she was the first grandbaby... and Renae is generally very nice to Grandma..... for the most part anyway, but all the others are just like Jim. Brian is her favorite... for reasons unknown... Everyone has always thought that it was cause his mom died when he was little and his dad's a piece of shit.... But that's no excuse to let him walk all over you. Give him extra love, he needs it.. I try to do it too... but don't let him run you either. She needs to be tougher and just put her foot down but she's afraid he'llget mad, run off and not see her anymore... and she's probably right, he would. He's just like that... he runs from his problems.....

Not me. That's why people don't feel sorry for me like they do him. I've lost both parents as well... but I take care of myself, and I'm pretty strong. He's not. I can handle my own life, and I know right from wrong, and I'm fully aware of how to dig myself out of my holes, so I don't put out the image that I need extra help or whatever like he does. ANd I understand this.

In my honest oppinion, I think Jim may be jealous of Brian. That sounds absurd cuz Brians 23 and Jims like 65, but it's the only thing I can come up with. If Jim could just learn to keep his opinions to himself and to stop trying to father Brian then everything would be fine. Brian doesn't want him as a father figure... why jim thinks he can pull that off anyway is beyond me... he supposedly did that to me when dad died... but I honestly can't remember anything he actually did fo rme. He sold my daddy's truck to give mom money that we needed.... but other than that.. he's never called to check on me.. he's never taken me out with him.. he's never had any kinds of "talks" with me.... so no... he was not a father figure in my eyes. He did help me find a car once... but that's not that big of a deal really.

When dad died.. I remember Grandma. I remember her driving across town to come get us and take us to the store... I remember her coming all the way out to fairdale to help mom clean or teach me how to cook something new... SHE was the one that said Move in with me when our trailer was foreclosed on.... SHE was the one that came and said Come back home when Seanand I had our first apt. and I got really sick and couldn't work for awhile... She drove all the way out to Lyndon and packed all my stuff for me cause I was too sick to do it myself.... SHE was the one that stayed on the phone with me almost all night the night mom died... it's her I rmemeber.. so if anything, she's my father. And I'm Brians.

Such a stupid ugly situation. And I don't know how to fix it.

I'm Back HNT

These are from the party we went to Friday night.. I don't seem tohave much time anymore to take pics.. lol so I just recycle... but as long as their hot recycled ones, it's all good right? lol

What do you think?

I know I've bitched about this over and over and over again.... I realize this... I know that you all may be tired of hearing about it... but I just can't help but bring it up again. I'm not going to go into it all or anything.. I just want to ask one simple question......

If I (or anyone for that matter) came to your house, and began to wander around... and point out all the things that I thought were messy and then proceed to tell you about all the things I found and bitch non-stop about it...... what would you do?



I know I'd stick my foot up your ass and tell your whiney self to get the fuck out.... but that's just me.

Too damned much fun

Well, the party went great... we had a blast. =) Got to tour the house without the actors in it and take all kinds of pics. =) Sean ended up getting Actor of the Year too.. he was super excited. They pick one person from each house that they thought did the best during the whole season and they picked Sean... =) We kinda figured it cause of something someone said to him when we first got there but we had to wait to be totally sure. =) He also got a perfect attendance bonus so he walked away with quite a bit of money. We went Christmas shoppin yesterday.. hehe think we might go today and get us a decent QUEEN sized mattress.... Lol this Full sized shit just isn't big enough for us.
But yep, we had a great time..... and here's some pics. =)

Party on!

It's dark.. and it's blurry... but I luv this pic of me and my hunny. =) Throwin up the horns.. hehe
I'll post about the party and show off some pics tomorrow. Just wanted to get this one in here first. hehe

Happy Birthday Marine Corp

To all the USMC hotty's out there......

Happy Birthday!

time to breathe.

Well, Saturday was my moms Memorial Service. I think it went great. Everything turned out like it was supposed to, all the speeches were beautiful and it wasn't all sappy and sad. Our Pastor did an open mik type deal where anyone could stand and share memories of mom and many people got to share so that was awesome... Then afterward, we went outside and released 4 white doves and it was very touching... although my bird poo-ed on my hand.. hehe Everyone kept laughing saying it was mom and that's why I was the only one that got shat upon. =) Then yesterday when Josh and Deena came over to help me move stuff out of mom's apt. they were telling me about their rose bushes and how they had all died because of the cold... yet yesterday morning there was one huge rose bloom on the otherwise dead bush... so we decided that was mom too. =)

Got her apartment all cleaned out yesterday.... right on time too so I was happy with that. So besides a couple little errands I still have to do, I'm all caught up and done with everything I think. =)

Sniff Sniff

At the dollar store today I found Snuggle air fresheners... They are the pop-up kind that just sit around but MAN they smell great... lol My whole place smells like fabric softener, it's awesome. =)

Yep... that's all I wanted to say. =)

a few poems

I'll tell her stories of how silly you were
I'll answer her questions when she's unsure
I'll make sure she always remembers your face
I'll teach her to hold your love in a special place.

You taught her tolerance and understanding...
That's something not all kids know
You taught her to accept and to love everyone...
And I know that'll continue as she grows

Mik couldn't have asked for a better mamaw & I couldn't have had a better mom
We are both very fortunate and lucky people, to have had you with us for so long.






You & I went through so much, and you never left my side
You taught me things & helped me through & never let me hide.
Raising a teen all on your own can't be an easy thing to do
But you were always honest about my dad & that taught me to be honest too.
There are things that I know that most never learn and it's because of the life that I've had
You ensured that I'd be alright loosing you by helping me through when I lost my dad.
The things that get thrown at you can sometimes be pretty rough
You knew I'd be o.k. though cause you raised me to be tough.
I love you mom and only you and I know how much
Remember though.... months ago..... you promised me you'd keep in touch.

Need Ideas!!

If anyone has any ideas for ways to personalize a memorial service, please let me know. I'm trying to come up with special things we can do but it's not that easy.
I'd LOVE to release either a dove or butterflies BUT.... her memorial is too late in the day to relese doves because the owners don't want them flying at nighttime.... and butterflies... while I found a place that could accomodate me.... they cost 50 bucks for a dozen of them and I don't have the extra 50 bucks for it. Wouldn't that be pretty though?

I'm already going to display pictures of her everywhere, and I thought about handing out index cards and having people write a memory down and reading them but for one.. it would take a long time.. and two.. half the people coming are visually impaired. So tha'ts not going to work either.

So have any of you ever been to a memorial where they did something special? Or can you think of any ideas for me? I'm open to most anything right now..............


:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::UPDATE:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

I "rented" 4 doves.... well, they are actually white homing pigeons... but they look like doves.... anyway... we're going to release them in honor of mom.
"Oh that I had wings like a dove. For I would fly away and be at rest." Old Testament, Psalms 55:6



And one other thing too.... My friend's cat is really sick and he might end up losing him.. so everyone think about poor Aka in the next few days.