Update

Mom went to the doctor yesterday to get the results of her ct-scan of her liver. Since her surgery (about a month ago) the tumor on her liver has tripled in size. The doctor said he’s never seen cancer grow this fast before. She started her chemo today, and they’re gonna rescan her liver after 4 treatments (8 weeks), and if the tumor hasn’t shrunk at all, then it’s not going to. So she had to ask that question that I’m sure all cancer patients wonder, How long do I have? And the doctor said Maybe 6 months.

MAYBE 6 MONTHS??????? That’s not long enough. I need my mommy for much longer than that, Mik needs her mamaw! You know how you’re taight to believe that God has a plan for you from the day your born? So God knew my dad would kill himself when I was 14 and that my mom would be gone by the time I was 26? I was meant to be without parents? I’m not blaming god or anything, I know better than that, and I know everything has a reason and whatever, it’s just kinda hard to deal with.

I’m not going to freak out until we hear in 2 months if the chemo is working or not. But it stays in the back of my mind nonetheless. I’m trying my best to not get depressed. I know I have Mikayla to raise, I can’t let her see me upset all the time because that’s just not good for her, and she doesn’t understand why mommy’s so sad. She seen me cry last night and came up to give me a kiss. I wish this were a problem that a kiss can make better, although it did make me smile. =)

Anyway, don’t want to talk too much about it, just wanted to clue everyone in.