i wish i knew what was wrong with him.

I'm kinda worried something wrong with sean. He's always in a bad mood. If I go to his work he seems like he's in a great mood but if i text or call him, he's always short and seems like I'm bothering him. Which ok, he's at work I get that, but i also know how they work and he could take a second to talk to me sometimes. But even when he does, it generally not very friendly.

Then he;ll come home from work and usually he's in a bad mood then too cause he's been at work all day, but I figured let him shower and wahtnot and he'll pop out of it.. and sometimes he does, but then out of the blue, nothings been said, and he's then right back into being almost hateful toward me, and anyone thats near by. If anyone happens to be over when he starts being that way, they can always sense it with him and see it in his eyes and they will leave. Then he'll be like, why'd everyone leave? and I'll tell him and he'll just roll his eyes and tell me I'm crazy again.

When I say something he tells me I'm crazy and that he's in a great mood and blah blah but I'm far from an idiot and can see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice and ten years with him has taught me what his words tones and looks mean ya know.

I just feel like I'm walking on eggshells again. Been thru this once. I'm afraid to open my mouth half the time in fear it's going to be taken wrong and make him mad. And everyone else notices it too... so just because he says it's not true, doesnt mean squat when everyone else can see it as well. all "your crazy" translates into, is I dont want to tell you whats wrong, i just want you to believe nothing is and go about my way.

I keep wondering if Sean needs to go see someone.. it's almost like he doesn't realize he's being so rude, and if i mention it he doesn't believe me so theres really no point in it anymore.

I don't know what to do... I made up soe stupid excuse to go to my car the other night just to cry for a minute scream twice and get my frustration out before i came back inside.

I'm so very scared. I don't want to lose him again.. I want to be able to work out anything that comes our way but I can't do anything if I'm blocked from knowing the reasons.

When I text him at work for instance, I get responses like lol, ok, k, yes, no..... just one word basic shit,and i ask why so short and he tells me he's busy.. it's hard to work and text... but then tonight he's telling me about an actual conversation he had had with two other people today by text... at work.. and neither of them work related... so he has time to break and conversate with them, but not me.

so tomorrow.. I'll respond to his, but I'm not sending any of my own... then when he comes home tomorrow, I'm going to have the house empty, no people over and I'm not letting anyone come over until he invites them. We will play the sean makes the rules game for a bit and see if that helps out... because something has to give.. I can't take this. I feel like no matter which direction I go, it's wrong.. No matter what i say or who i talk to, I'm either doing it too much or i said something wrong. I can't live like that.. i won't live like that.. thats stupid. Neither of us own each other. I don't treat him that way, I expect not to be treated that way either.

I don't know if he;ll read this or not... and sorry for spilling our business online if you do but 've tried talking to you and it gets me nowhere but in the big I'm not doing that circle.. so i figured someone outside may have a suggestion for me.

I love Sean like nothing in this world... but if he's constantly upset, unhappy or mad, whats the point? I feel like I cant do anything right.