......................
We're supposed to spread the word here and I'm afraid I'm gonna forget to.. so this Thursday... HNT'ers are supposed to try and incorporate a Haloween Theme into their HNT pics. =) I gotta come up with some ideas.
_____________________________________
Went and seen my momma for most the day yesterday. She doesn't look so good. Being the weirdo that I am, I took some pics of her but I'm not going to share them. She's stopped eating or drinking, and can't swallow anything without getting choked. They've been giving her fluids through I.V. but they won't force food on her cuz she has a DNR. She's beginning to dehydrate because her tongue is like cracked looking.. they've been putting mineral oil in her mouth but I don' think it's helping a whole lot.
My Grandma is starting to fall apart too... It's so hard to see her upset like this all the time. She gets mad at me when I talk tothe nurses about what's going to happen and yesterday I realized that they didn't have a copy of her DNR on file.. so I filled out another one.. Well Grandma just kept going on and on about how if they had los tit, maybe it was a sign that we needed to let them revive her and keep her with us... But I'm not letting that happen. Mom wants to go as easily as she can.. she doesn't want some machines making her live. And I understand that grandma doesn't want to give up on her daughter but it's what mom wants.. and I will see that she gets what she wants, regardless of how anyone ele feels about it. I realize that sounds kinda harsh but all of this is falling bak on me.. and I'm not going to have people holding shit against me because I did what mom wanted me to do... It's just a bad situation all together.
I'm going to miss my mommy so much. I'm not sure how my life is going to be without her in it. Who will I call when something interesting happens, or when someone we know does something that needs to be gossiped about? Who's gonna spend hours in Wal-Mart with me just looking at stuff? Who am I gonna do my Christmas shopping with? =( Just a few of the things I'm gonna miss.
Ya'll may want to take a break from my blog.... I'm sure this is going to be all I'm going to talk about for some time.
posted by Robyn @ 5:50 AM
9 Comments:
No way you're going to get rid of my THAT easily!
carrying out your moms wishes is like doing her a last favor or something. good to stick to your plan cause when things start changing is when the shit hits the fan. sucks that she couldnt stay at home like she wanted though. :(
((((robyn))))
-sending you computer/internet luv- can you feel it? lol
You are doing the right thing by sticking with what your mom wants. It sucks being the one who's strong enough to do that, but it IS the right thing to do.
And I forgot to add, that I'm just really sorry.
if you don't have any plans friday me and deena wanna do lunch with ya. let me know
(((hugs)))
Keep talking about it, those of us the really care will still be here and we will listen to every word. Love ya
When my grandad was ill, I went to see him in hospital every day. He had always been a very active man and then was brought down by a succesion of strokes and heart attacks that left him unable to walk, and communicate. He got a little better, but the doctors held out little hope for him. One evening, he spoke to me and asked that whatever happens, the doctors shouldn't revive him. If he couldn't walk, talk and laugh then he didn't want to live. At first I was shocked and upset. I told my Nan and she was adamant that he would be revived. But he dredged up some little reserve of strength and laid down the law to her. By this time my dad was almost non-functional with grief and I talked to my Mum. She agreed with him and so did I.
I was with him when he died and he died with a smile on his face, the doctors and the family respected his wishes.
Love you grandad and sending some love through to you too Robyn. Be strong.
if you need to talk about it you can talk abou it here
this blog is for you, not just to entertain us
besides, we can still give our robyn the encouragement she needs
Post a Comment
<< Home