In general

K, so Mother Nature can BITE MY ASS! Yea, bite it... munch munch munch. Friggin heavy storm and hail warnings fukkin up my weekend camping plans... Grrrr I'm pissed!! It's all supposed to be outta here by tomorrow though so we'll just go over night I guess cause damnit! I'm going camping this weekend one way or another.

My grandma has a doctors appt. today.. they migh tlet her come home, and if they don't they'llprolly def. let her come home in about a week. YAY! I can't wait till she gets out of that place, I hate seeing her there. She's not like those old people, my grandmas mind is sharp as a tack, she just can't walk very well right now. Guess it's all for the better.

Took mom shopping yesterday and she wanted to talk. She was telling me that I can talk to her if I'm scared or anything about her surgery, and I told her I knew that but that the way I see it is.... her surgery is in May.... if she falls into a coma from this surgery and dies... I don't want to spend the last month I have with her crying and talking about her dieing. I know it could happen, I understand all the possibilities but it's like I told her. I have Sean to talk to about things like this. I don't bother my friends with it, I don't bother my family with it, I go to Sean. He's my partner, he's my support, thats what he's there for so he's who I turn too. He knows ow scared I am. For some reason, here lately this calming feeling has been in my heart. Whenever I think of mom, I don't cry, I don't even want to cry, I just feel calm. I can't explainit and I don't know where it came from. Maybe all the changes I've made in my life lately has helped to rid me of some stress or something I dunno but I can face things head on now and I'm proud of that. I think mom wants me to talk with her about it but I just can't. I'd rather spend our time laughing and having fun then talking about death and crying all the time ya know, thats not how I want to rememebr her last months with us. Ugh, I so hope she makes it through with flying colors though, I really don't know how I'd handle life without her right now... I'm too young to not have any parents. And my dad can kiss my fucking ass too because if he hadn't have been a selfish asshole, then I'd still have him... Hear that Mike? Kiss my ass! yea buddy.

Anyway, enough of that depressing shit. lol

Went out and hung out an dhad dinner with TnA last night..... they're such cool people. =) We got in the truck on our way home and sean just kept saying, I'm so glad we met them... they're such cool people. Mik had a blast playing with the kids too. It's so nice to watch her have fun like that, long overdue. Terry's a pretty good cook too.... stuffed our faces.... chilled for a bit.... smoked a bowl.... lol good times... Thanx guys!

Got a package in the mail from my Aunt Francis today.. it was full of envelopes addressed to people they know that she wants me to get them to participate in Wendells scrapbook. For Christmas last year, I made a scrapbook of all the family and extended family for my grandma.. I had everyone in the family including all her brothers and sisters and some of their kids to write a short letter recalling a memory they had with her and then I put the letters in the scrapbook and did a page on each person. Grandma loved it.... even today she tells me it is the best gift anyone has ever gotten her and she reads in it almost every day. Anyway, Wendell is pretty sick, docs say he might not have a lot of time left so his wife asked me if I'd do a scrapbook for him from her and of course I said I would. So today I get the envelopes to send out my letter to everyone.. lol was expecting like 30 or so to do.... LOLOL there are 78 envelopes... 78! I can't imagine doing a scrapbook that size but whatever.. lol I'll get it done. hehe hopefully it turns out as well as grandmas did though. =) Gives me a reason to get back into scrapping again too which I need badly.

Well, gonna run.... waiting on Sean to get back home with his brother and his girlfriend. tata all. =) Luvs.