Here we go again

Ok, so yesterday Andy sent me this email talking about how sad he is and how nothings going right and this and that, so I wrot him back like 4 pages telling him in my opinion why everythings going to shit for him. I’m not gonna get into all that on here because I odn’t think he’d want me to share too much but the fat and skinny of it is that he feels that he can’t be truly happy until he moves to Cali with his frined Chell, which honsetly to me is just another cop out…. An deasy way out of a problem that he should have to stick around and fix for good but whatever, his life not mine. So now we have to move again. I was so excited thinking that we were gonna live somewhere for longer than a year this time. Mik loves this house, we just got her into her daycare around the corner, she’s used to that she adjusted well and now we have to turn around pack up and move yet again, and in that, we have to switch her daycare too because it’ll be too far from home if we move. Yippee!
Went for a walk with Andy last night to try and help him clear his head a bit, and we got all this out in the open, and I’m ok with moving or whatever, just a little bitter about it. When Andy needed a place to stay, we let him move into our apt. and when we decided that was too small for all of us, we got this house. I LOVE this house. If I knew it was just going to be a one year only thing, then we would have never moved in together to begin with.
When we first discussed moving in together, we told Andy it would have to be a long term thing because of Mik and her getting attached to people or whatever and we all said that it’d be years and years of living together. A quote from Andy was "It’s always been a dream of mine to live in a house with friends". Guess the dream is over now.Now don’t get me wrong, I love andy very very much, he’s a great friend, but this is kinda bullshit.. When we were talking about all this last night I was fine with it all, but then I told Sean about moving and the look on his face broke my heart, thinking about it right now is breaking my heart. He doesn’t want to move just as much as I don’t want to move. I’m going to talk to my mom and see if she’d move with us just as a favor for a year. It would be the biggest favor of all if she would but I don’t think she will. I odn’t even know for sure that she can afford to right now but we’ll see.
I know Andy is going to read this and think to himself, um none of this was a problem last night but that was before I seen the look on Seans face. I can’t deal with that, I have to much else to deal with. Andy asked me last night how I can go through life and just let bad things happen without always freaking out about it all, and I told him having faith is what keeps me sane, and I know a lot of people don’t believe that way and that’s fine. You don’t have to believe the same way I do, I’m not saying your wrong, I’m not even saying I’m right I’m just saying that that is what works for me, and keeps peace in my heart so that’s what I’m sticking with. Not sure if he agreed or not though.
I’m just kinda sad today because now I have to worry about uprooting my family once again. Me and Sean can adjust to whatever comes our way but Mikayla is a baby still, she doesn’t understand why she’s lived in 3 different places in the 3 years she’s been born, now it’s gonna be 4 and we’ll have to change her daycare on top of all that, it’s really unfair to her and I hope she doesn’t have a hard time getting used to it. I don’t want to ask Andy to stick around for another year because I’d have to go everyday knowing that in his head somewhere he’s thinking that he’s being forced to be unhappy, and that’s not what I want. I want him to be happy and if going clear across the country is what he needs then bon voyage I suppose. Andy hasn’t been happy in months, and really I think some of it is either me or sean and he’s just not saying that.
Dr. Cobban at our old church once told me and Sean when we were upset about mary and Richard's situation...... He said that we were Missionaires, we are always willing to help people out when they have noone to turn to, and he said it was amazing that we did this so open heartedly because we've never been people with a lot of money or means to support anyone, yet we will still never turn someone down. Thats how my faith works through me I guess, maybe thats what God put us here for and I should stop bitching about it and be grateful that I was given a gift like that. I don't know, I guess the answers will come as quickly as the problems do.
I wish I had money to move to wherever I wanted to, I wish Andy could just be happy with anything cause once he moves and gets settled and runs into a snag he’ll be right back where he is now because he’s like that, he lets little things build up until he explodes. I wish I coul dstay in my house, I wish my mom wasn’t sick, I wish I had a better paying job, I wish I was settled. 26 years old and no clue. Fucking A!