Misc. Poems

I have a blog on Louisville Mojo and Myspace that I write in from time to time.... My mojo blog is mostly poems... I was reading thru some of them today and figured I'd put em on here too. =)
The first one is brand new,,, just wrote it yesterday but the others you may or may not have seen before. =)

I can't feel anymore, I'm numb.
These drugs make me numb..

Maybe it's my life, too much sadness all around
Maybe it's this knife, holding my Self to the ground.

Stab it thru my soul
Pierce it thru my veins

Bring the redness to my lips when I begin to strain..
Drink your life into me
The darkness closes in
Ask your god to help release me from my sin..

I like how this evil feels
Absorbing in my cells
I can feel his precense in me, leading me to Hell

They tell us there will be fire,
They say we'll live in fear

But I say they are wrong....
I kinda like it here!

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Blinded by my tears
The flow washes away my fears
I can't take this anymore.

Consumed by the reality
That this will never be
Engulfing all that is around me
I will bring you to your knees.

You can try to out run this
But I'm everywhere you turn
You can find pieces of me in everything
I fucking hope you burn

All I want to see is the whites of your eyes
The blood rush from your face
As you slowly die.

Suffer bitch.


My hands around your neck
Releases the pressure in my head
Makes me feel human again
To know that you'll soon be dead.

That familiar tingle, that fuzzyness is back
My mind is going blank again
It's about to attack

I cannot stop it, although I've tried many times...
Just quit pissing me off already
With your bullshit childish lies.
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(Seans band, Chaotic Vengeance made this next one into a song)
Demons around every corner
Tempting you to stray

Keep it all in the light areas
Bad things happen in the gray

The voices tell me to stop
That you've had enough

But I believe I'm the judge
Your tears seem like a bluff

You need this just like I do
It makes the pain go away
Accept where the fear leads you
If you wanna see another day....

Shadows on the wall dance for me
the blurry-ness in my eyes

I could just be imagining it
Or it could warn of my demise

We will all die one day
some sooner than the rest

Let me take you to your "god"
Let me make you feel blessed.

You need this just like I do
It makes the pain go away
Accept where the fear leads you
If you wanna see another day....

Black figures come out of the sky
To take from you your life

The screams you hear are other souls
It pierces like a knife

All your prayers didn't help you,
you're bound just like us all

You can sit up high and look down on us
But one day you'll fall.

You need this just like I do
It makes the pain go away
Accept where the fear leads you
If you wanna see another day....

Do you want to see another day?
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Went walking down the street today..
Met a gnome along the way..,
He was in a yard with his wife and dog,
While she was baking goodies, he was chopping logs.

Cute little family, I thought to myself
Didn't expect to run into a goddamned elf....
The dog must've sensed me, it started to bark...
Annoying bastard I thought, wait till it gets dark.

I need to get some groceries, we're out of trash bags too
My shoes make a squeaky noise when I walk, and theres a pile of dog poop....

I almost forgot about the dog....

Nah fuck that dog, it's really the elves fault, I should kill them instead..

hehe kill the elves.....


I'm a dwarf you fucking idiot, I'm not a goddamned elf!
You're saying all that shit out loud instead of thinking it to yourself.
You won't hurt my dog tonight because he sleeps inside with us,
Now go buy your fucking trash bags before I really make a fuss!!!

Damn little guy I'm sorry (I actually really was)
I'd smoke one with ya to make ammends so tell me, Do ya ever smoke bud?

Bud? as in weed? fuck yeah I smoke, but I'd be afraid to share with you, you couldn't handle my smoke...

Handle it? you crazy dwarf I smoke among the best, pack that shit and pass it here, I'll hand you back the rest...

I woke up tied to a pole, naked as can be.....
and naked on that pole, is my last memory.....

Moral of this story?

Elves have great pot! =)
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Because I choose to wear a star instead of your cross around my neck

You label me and Judge me before you even check

Because I don't worship your god or daily sit and pray

Doesn't mean I don't have faith or am not thankful for each day.

Most of you assume and don't really know much about me.

But your wrong, like most, let me tell you all about me

I do not worship satan (thought about it tho)

Never cheat on my hubby, I'm a flirt not a hoe.

My 5 year old princess is my savior, my husband is my shrine

I worship life, I worship love, not false gods and wine

I'm a pretty decent person, always there for my friends

Go to work everyday like Sean, so we can meet our ends

My daughter is smart and happy, like any kid should be

She might be a lil dark and twisted but she gets that hoenstly.

I love most aspects of my life but that's mainly because of sean.

It does hurt my heart and wear my soul that both my parents are gone.

I try not to dwell on all that though, It won't get me anywhere

I just go from day to day, seeing what the next will bear.
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holidays always bring me down
no one seems to notice

I try to be happy, I really do try
But it takes a lot of focus

I watch Mikayla enjoy herself
that helps to cheer my day

But knowing who's not with me anymore
that cheer soon fades away

I've never enjoyed thanksgiving
since my daddy died

even though it's been 14 years
that holiday still makes me cry

this time of year is weird
when both your parents have died

This year hit a nerve though
I'm not exactly sure why
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Mikayla turned 5 years old
Halloween's getting near
Neil had another kid
And I was the last to hear
They skipped the big yard sale
I never did hear why
And I can't remember which one but
another of grandmas brothers died
Alot of things have happened
when I just wanted to call you up
I even grabbed the phone a few times
The slow realization has been a bit rough
I know that I can handle this
I can prove myself again
I just really really don't want to
You and I werent meant to end
Lee and Kevin got married
We'll see how that goes
Denielle and Kyle moved back to town
and she's hiding their 4th underneath her clothes
You'd be so proud of Brian though...
Their wedding's coming in May
They just bought their first house
Brian calming down some... never thought we'd see the day
Baby Danielle and Baby Tre are here
They are both getting really big
I tried to quit smoking for New Years, but I can't give up my cigs.
Donna and Steve tied the knot
I'm so very happy for them
Sean and I got to be part of one of our buddy's short film's
Sean played Satan.. fits him to a T
Mik was even in it.. sitting on Josh's knee
Him and Deena bought a house too.. can't remember how long thats been
It has a big pool outside, so you know Deena's in heaven
I'm sure theres much more to tell you
That I've just failed to recall
I just kinda wanted to catch you up
In case you didn't see it all
I miss you everyday... it's harder the longer it's been
I'll miss you everyday I think, you were my best friend.
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Leave me alone out in the rain

I like how the fog drapes over me.

Leave me to deal alone with this pain

I need privacy to make her bleed.

Go about your way, smile and laugh and talk.

Leave me to be by myself you fucks

Before you wind up outlined in chalk.

That cloud has a cool shape to it

The flowers have started to bloom

The sun will peek in every so often

Only to be murdered again by the gloom.

So take your happiness, wrap it up tight

and send it on its way

Because around me... around here.....

theres nothing more to say.
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Angry and alone, I stand in this field
Armed with nothing, without your shield.

My life is in your hands, my world is what I share
I can't help but wonder still... is there something there?

It won't compare to what you'll miss with me.

I will not be lied to, I can always find you out
This is one promise I can guarantee without a doubt

I'm a sneaky little bastard if I need to be
But you already know this about me.
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Bat your pretty eyes
Show some skin
Don't be afraid to let him in
Rough calloused hands
On your neck

Obiedience is your savior
Love what you recieve
Give Thanks every day for it
In me you will believe
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Black Rod Iron Gate
Looms tall but in my way

All around the scent of death
Rotting flesh and decay

You told me you were sorry
But I don't believe you anymore

All shall die, all shall cry
Roast in hell for evermore

Wave your hand with missing digits
Smile your smile with gapped teeth

Pierce you through your heart
Drawing my sword from it's sheath

Talk your shit, go ahead
You're appology makes no ammends

Once you see you're going to die
Bet you don't fuck with me again.
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I step into my little box to escape away from life.

Grab the blade with both my hands and gently squeeze the knife.

Watch the blood trickle down, big red stain on my dress.

Daddy no don't hit me, I didn't mean to make a mess..

The buckle from the belt leaves welts, the old ones still haven't healed....

Don't pretend to even fathom how your blows make me feel.

___________________________________________

Take your foot off of my chest

Lay me down, I need the rest

Take me from this agony, take away the pain

When I try to see your face, it always starts to rain

I need you in my world, not only in my heart

Arm and arm and leg to leg.. totally ripped apart

Time will heal it this I know, just not sure where to start
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Yeah, they are dark I know. lol